Okay, I have resisted starting another thread because I know that I was doing a little better when not posting and only coming her occasionally to check on my friends. However, I am feeling a little guilty about threadjacking.

Here is the latest in my situation.

Virtually nothing going on with H and me. Our divorce was final August 1st, H immediately moved in with OW as she had to spend the profit from the sale of her and her H's home before she had to pay capital gains tax. So she bought a house which my FIL checked out and has told people it his H's house. Not so, our friends have seen the contract...H's name not on it anywhere. He was upset with me because he did a credit check (maybe to get his name on the loan) and our mortgage and a home improvement account is still in his name, too. He ignores me and when we have to be together (S20 had surgery) he is friendly but guarded. He tried to get some stuff that wasn't listed on the divorce decree. I told him no because it says all personal property is divided. Some of the things I had told him we needed to agree on who got what but OW wouldn't let him meet with me to negotiate. His loss.

S32 will have surgery in the next week or so to remove the last of the cancerous tumors from his lymph node. Not sure but hoping that will be the last of his long treatment for testicular cancer. S20 is a junior in college and we have managed to make it through one semester without asking H for anything. He is going to have large student loans when he is finished.

S18 will graduate in June. He will be attending college in the fall the same place as his brother.

Ss greatly dislike OW and H blames me for that. S20 says they won't be together much longer as OW is not very intelligent.

Now on to New Year's resolutions. I resolve to improve my life so that I will be happy with or without H. Hopefully H will be sorry he isn't in my life anymore just as an added bonus.

Action steps to accomplish that:

1. Draw nearer to God.
2. Seek financial counseling and get finances under control. So that I can tithe.
3. Eat healthier and get more exercise.
4. Socialize more.
5. As soon as the government decides what highly qualified means for special ed teachers, get signed up for a masters program. As much as I was weary of taking classes, I was never as happy as I was while accomplishing my bachelors degree. Until H dropped the bomb a year before graduation.

I must shift the focus of my life to God and off H. I have to leave it to Him and stop picking it back up again. I want to be an example to my sons on how to include God in their lives.

Happy New Years to all my friends. I love all of you.

Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.