CL, I know you are concerned about the lower income, but money is far less important than happiness. In other words, if your W is searching for some more meaning in life and trying to eliminate the negative forces, then she is on the path to happiness.
I can tell you from my own experiences, I now work part time. I used to work full time. I constantly felt overloaded. I was much more anxious, angry all the time, etc... This was not too long pre-bomb. So, my emotional well being contributed to our M problems prior to my H dropping the bomb.
I then got laid off a year ago. My H and I were separated at the time. I was devastated. While I was overwhelmed with working full time, I didn't want to lose the job I had. But as it turns out, the break was EXACTLY what I needed. I got myself together. Did some soul searching. And now, a year later, I am back at my company part time. I work three days and spend the other two week days with my kids. This has had a tremendous impact on my emotional well being. Our income is lower. But I'd rather live in a small house and be happy than live in a big house and be miserable. Hope this makes sense.
Also, as for the cleaning lady. I finally got one about 3 years ago. I even continued using her when I was unemployed. It really makes a big difference. Bathrooms are miserable. Also, I do tend to get in a bad mood when the house is a mess.
Not sure if any of this helps. I am just trying to give you a different perspective.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
