You don't deserve this misery any more than any one of the rest of us.
I'm glad soldier boy cancelled, too. I think if you had gone through with anything, you'd be feeling a lot worse than you are right now. I'm also glad you told your H. Although his reaction... I don't know.
I don't know if you and your H are cut out to be lovers... maybe you are destined to be very good friends, but not lovers. Clearly he loves you and cares for you, but will there ever be real sexual intimacy of the kind that you need and want? He seems more understanding of your feelings than Mr. karen is of karen's, but whether that will translate into any action...
When your H said he wants to keep "working on the marriage," did he say exactly what that "work" would consist of?
