While I can see why my H did what he did, I will never condone it, or 'ok' it. Its never justifiable. But I think what andyv meant is that he can see how it happened. Heck, at many points even in the LBS's life, this could have happened to us, we just didn't act on it.. I have had chances for EA/PA's throughout our marriage, but it felt wrong, even if I was on the 'outs' with H at the point.
Mark I think you are half and half about your W. You aren't attracted to the person she is, and also you are protecting yourself, pushing yourself away from her to save your sanity. Remember that hot pan? We have touched it so many times, knowing its hot, we don't want to even be near it now, we know it hurts....
That really was a beautiful necklace. You are a thoughtful man. Something that she's going to miss and kick herself for later. You are a better man, she is the one that is messed up.
I know you are depressed, I can tell by your posts.. Please take care of yourself, and you too are one of my deareast friends and I want you to be happy.
I want you to have a happy new year, and enjoy your kids.
Mark I think you are half and half about your W. You aren't attracted to the person she is, and also you are protecting yourself, pushing yourself away from her to save your sanity. Remember that hot pan? We have touched it so many times, knowing its hot, we don't want to even be near it now, we know it hurts....
You know, as she walked out the door this morning, she gave me a nice, friendly smile. Subconsciously, I thought, "Wow, that's very nice. I like that."
But you know, I can also get a nice, warm, friendly smile from somebody who won't cheat on me...
Freddie was born in Zanzibar and grew up in India (his birth name was Farrokh Bulsara - he is of Indian descent - betcha didn't know that!!!). And I don't think Tim Curry was raised in India. And I checked. Their birthdays are five months apart. They may have the same father.... but I doubt they have the same mother!!!!!!!!! (Saffie, back me up here, will ya??)
Consider yourself fully backed up here Mark. Tim Curry isn't related to good 'ole Freddie. Don't think Freddie had any siblings did he? Or was there maybe a sister - oh no, that was him just dressed up on " I want to break free!" - the tasche gives it away!!!!? I think he was an only child. However I believe he was of Iranian descent, not Indian.
At midnight in the UK I will be raising a glass to all you great DB friends - you don't know how much you all mean to me. I wish you all the best for 2008 and KNOW that you deserve better than what you have at the moment.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I'll party for you tal, of course, and raise a glass to you.
This will be the first year when I won't have all my kids with me at midnight. My eldest two are at other parties - it makes me feel sad - I like to have all my chicks around me to welcome in the new year. I guess it's the dawn of a new era for me. Wish I could be with all you lot.
Here's hoping that in 2008 I get to meet some of you That would make my year.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Im sorry about not being with all your little ones (I know their not actually "little") I don't know how im going to feel when that time comes.. it will be sad.. Im still in the mickey mouse cartoon period
It is a new time for you.. to start doing things you like ( which I know you already do with your horses) but you can start thinking of other things you like to do.
Its strange, your life is so wrapped up in your kids, there just isn't time for anything else.. for me anyway. I guess that's because they are still only 2 and 5 years old. I know that will change as soon as they get to their teens. I just hope they still like me then..lol.. or I will be devastated!!
What are your plans, are you guys going out?? I think we're going to get some chinese and that's about it.
It would be nice to be with all of you.. there are so many nice people this board.. ive only been on one other board called silentgrief.. its for mothers who have had miscarriages.. it was pretty good, i don't go on hardly at all anymore.. i didn't really make any real connections on there, just some support and advice.. but his board is just Awesome!! everybody on here is a gem!!
ok, now that I have rambled on.. I guess I need some adult conversation in my life.. other than my mom and H..hehe
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
I'll party for you tal, of course, and raise a glass to you.
This will be the first year when I won't have all my kids with me at midnight. My eldest two are at other parties - it makes me feel sad - I like to have all my chicks around me to welcome in the new year. I guess it's the dawn of a new era for me. Wish I could be with all you lot.
Here's hoping that in 2008 I get to meet some of you That would make my year.
PLEASE Saffie do not drink too much..... Remember last time at the X mas party.........I may be on line during YOUR midnight (4pm here)
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I am not sure or for certain what Andy meant. But I think he meant that by maybe of some short comings he had he could maybe see that this could happen. Like traveling a lot for work, not doing things together or spending time together.
Ya know when I think about my husbands short comings you would think I would be a prime candidate for an affair. But I have held strong on not doing anything. When some people are unhappy they aren't as strong. Like for instance, but let me add my husband has depression. but he gets angry with the kid's. Could be over something stupid. Doesn't hit them ever. But it's his lack of patience. Same with me totally gets aggrivated easy over stupid things. Where does that leave us we don't go to him for anything hardly. I would rather do it myself then ask him anything. The kid's would rather tell me. Where does that leave me, growing apart from him. Because I don't want to talk to him much. He has a lot of negativity. He has been working a lot. So really the last couple months have been lonely but nice. His depression also left him with a decreased sex drive. Where does that leave me. Lonely and young with advances from other men.
But let me just say I have stood strong. But I am a strong minded person. That's why I would always tell someone if your spouse has beefs with you. Look at them seriously. People don't say something hurts them or bothers them for the heck of it. It's something they really feel. But you know I bet if someone asked my husband and this is if we were to ever seperate what went wrong. He would say it was all me. Even though he knows his short comings.
