Wife in Major MLC...Looking to Vent

[bombardier50]

I've posted to this board in the past few months and received a lot of advice. Now that I've become a little less emotional and gained some thinking space, I've realized my wife is in the midst of a major MLC.

Brief sitch: married 23 years. We're both 50. Kids all grown and out of the house as of 2 years ago. Our relationship started the meltdown when the last kid left. W started spending money ridiculously. Bought a fur coat. Spent $8k on getting teeth fixed (Veneers...her teeth were perfect). Spent $2k on electrolysis (yes, down there). Insisted on a new car with heated leather seats.

Then, she started an emotional affair with husband of another couple who are our best friends. They're extremely rich. He sends her expensive gifts, takes her on fabulous trips. She talks to him every day.

She tells me I'm insecure, depressed. She's rewritten our marriage history to show me as a complete jerk. Our physical relationship has dropped off the planet. No sex, no touching, nothing.

After doing EVERYTHING wrong (begging, pleading, arguing, bargaining), I'm now listening to the advice posted here. I've backed off. I have not told her I love her. No pursuit. This has at least made things at home tolerable.

She initiated MC. We start next week. I'm afraid it will make things worse. Any advice?

I've started a little personal savings account. It makes me feel better that I have a little safety net. Is this OK? A good or bad idea?

I'm in a lot of pain. I've tried to focus on myself, but it's hard. I can't watch movies/tv anymore because I see a couple loving each other and I just feel sick inside. That was us...