Let's get busy! Look at my last post on your thread and give some pointers. W is coming over this morning, and I started out with a PMA. Then opened up some bill, and found some more charges for times with OG, including another vacation spot of ours near my Mom's house! I'm sad again, but I'll try like heck to be positive and nice. I have to remember I'm competing with OG, and I have to be the one she wants to be with!!!
uhm!!! just talked to h...he called to say hello...isn't sure what time he'll be home has an appointment he's trying to cancel...had been sitting with son watching a movie while dd napped reading some of ssm...oh so much of me in there...while talking to h I asked him if he recalled the book I threw on the floor the other week...all he knew was that it said something about sex and marriage and he put it on the counter...I mentioned to him about how in the past when he would leave in the morning to go to football games if we had been physical the night before I walked him to the door that morning with a smile and told him to have fun..but if we had not for some time been physical I was grumpy and annoyed that he was taking a sunday to go watch a game rather than be with his family. h recalled...I let him know that the book explains more than just that...that perhaps it would be better for him to hear it (read it) in anothers words than mine...that there are so many quotes in the book that could have come from each of us...h said leave it out and I'll look at it....now I aint gonna hold my breath but the fact that h at least said he'd look at it is HUGE!!!
I appologized for bringing it up (I wasn't interupting anything but his discussion of how not to burn microwave popcorn) and let him know that I love him...he said Ily too LL...ahhh even if it is just in response to my words still made me want to cry....
so I must say I do feel a little better...a work in progress we are...I feel like this has been a major root of problems for us...I think we are on the right road!!
Quote: that perhaps it would be better for him to hear it (read it) in anothers words than mine.
H can hear it in my words READ THE DAMN BOOK FOOL!! YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, CARING WIFE THAT IS THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN! TAKE CARE OF HER, CHERISH HER, BOND WITH HER, BE PHYSICAL WITH HER, SHE LOVES YOU! SHOW SOMETHING IN RETURN!!!!!
How's that, LL? If you want me to add anything, just tell me and give me his e-mail address (not here, you know how)
I think we are on the right road!!
We all pray that you are((((((((((((((LL)))))))))))))))
LL wearing a big ole sh!t eating grin!!! I hope he reads it....I'm trying to deal with things as pressure free as possible....I just want us both to be happy not the continuos cycle we keep going through (regarding all aspects of our r not just this one) I know there will be good days and bad days...selfish days and selfless days...I just want us to find a balance...the fact that he'd even say that he'd look at the book is so huge you don't even know!!!
I still wanna know WHY h had this a and what type of a it was....I want to know all about it...I want to know the truth!!! but then again do I??? if I had an a I would know why...I wouldn't just chalk it up to oh we just met and clicked and it was there...I would know that I felt neglected at home...what needs of mine weren't being met...I would be able to say exactly what I was missing in the r that "enabled" me to accept it from an outsider....h cannot or has not yet done that...I have been given the "it" was just there...but what the hell was the "it" I adore h...I admire h...I desire h...I apprecite h...I do things for h...I compliment h...I take care of h...what was h missing??? "that feeling" what is that feeling???
oh I so want to know what power this skank had over my h that would make him do this??? h is an honest man...a respectable loyal dedicated man so why did he do this?? and why did it go to the extreme of his leaving and yet (supposedly) not go to the extreme of him being physical with her???
I dunno??? I still don't know what I was doing wrong...other than expressing my dissatisfaction with our r... I dunno???
Like you I want to know everything about A. XOW H and I tried to piece it together by comparing notes. Never really figured it out. It still bugs me a year later. I have been tempted to call XOW H and ask him. Hell I saw him two weeks ago and and followed him into a store. Couldn't find him to ask ??? Probably better off.
We are verbal. H's are not. Also many of the books we have read about A say they sometimes never confess as to what, why, where, how etc... I've also heard that very often they are so distressed and ashamed of A that they can not discuss it with us. Could that be the sitch with H? Maybe he's so ashamed (as he should be) for hurting you that it pains him to talk. You know the old Mars and Venus stuff. Just some thoughts.
You always come back to this. Maybe when you see C alone before you and H go together there may be a way to bring this into session down the road.
Have a good night LL. You deserve everything your heart desires.
ny The old fart with with a broken heart 
