Thanks, Hill and Matilda. You guys always come throught for me. Here ridiculuous request made me toss and turn and lose sleep. Now I remember why I volunteered to be here!
Some thoughts on college costs: - W or you need to be filling out a FAFSA form right about now - the basic form schools all use for determining financial aid. - does she have any basis for winning scholarships? She should be applying now - she could go to community college and live away from home - it would just require her to work and to learn frugality - not bad things, imho. Seems to me living away from home might be best for her? - she can take out student loans - alternative living arrangements can make college cheaper. My good friend's sister lived with a family as a "mother's helper" all through college. This wealthy family took her on many fabulous vacations, she went to school in the mornings and helped with the kids in the afternoon after they came home from school. My son's college town has co-ops where students commit a few hours a week to helping run the building (like a frat house without the frat) and it costs little more than half what the dorms cost.
I figured it out once when my oldest went to college. Costs were then about $20,000 a year for the excellent state school he attends, with dorm fees, meal plan, etc. He earns $3,000 of that himself working in the summer. Figure another $3,000 or so that I would have been spending anyway on food and utilities and gas and car insurance with him living at home (he doesn't need a car at school). If he HAD chosen to live in the co-ops, that would have cut his costs by about $4,000 a year. So in that case, it would have only cost me $10,000 a year above what current expenses were - and that's without him working any hours at all while in school. If he worked a 10-12 hour a week campus job during the school year, that would bring in about another $4,000 - cutting the actual cost to $6,000 a year. And you know what? I could live with my kid borrowing $6,000 a year in student loans, if need be.
My point being, that the somewhat overwhelming college costs are sometimes more manageable than you think, if you really break them down.
Helpful information for a lot of us. Thank you, Ellis.
FLTC, how are you today? I am making a list of 2007 memories/activities that I want to forget....going to shred them at midnight (got the idea from a newspaper article about a big shredder set up in Times Square). Want to join me? Of course, your midnight comes before my midnight so you better get busy making that list! I am looking forward to positive changes in 2008!
May 2008 all your shots be well aimed and the BGs do the normal method of aiming with their AK at the hip, all ieds fizzle, all Sandstorms are in between your convoy runs, and your homefront settle down.
Honestly I looked back from 02 thru 06 and felt that was the worst string of bad incidents anyone would ever want to experience (though many were worse). It eventually gets better with the emphasis on eventually.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
Wow! Ellie...out of nowhere! Great advice. Happy New Year, Matilda. To me it's just Tuesday. Nothing different from any other day. Welcome to the suck! We're at the point where the deployment is statring to take a human emotional toll on a lot of folks, but it's been a great escape for me. No one sleeps a full night. The constant stress of 18 hour days, 7 days a week makes you tired, but you're stressed out and don't even realize it. I will, however have to face the music in about 7 months. I'm already 11 months into the mobilization, and 5 into the deployment. Made plan reservations for D17 today. I get leave in April, and all 3 kids are meeting me in FLA. I have reservations at the Shades of Green, which is a 4 star hotel for military personnel. We'll have a lot of fun, angry, insecure, crazy W. aside. That felt good!
The trip to Florida with the kids sounds terrific! It's always nice to have something to look forward to. Bet they are excited as well. It's hard to imagine the stress of being in a combat zone. Makes my stress seem insignificant.
By the way did you start your own savings account yet? The first of the year is always a good time....right? 7 months will be here soon enough and you do need to think of FLTC!!!
You're right on all counts, Matilda. It will be nice to see the kids, but as you can guess, I continue to be extremely sad (coupled with angry) about the diitegration of my family over "unhappiness". To me, it doesn't warrant the violence that divorce would inflict on my family, as you well know. I really want someone to share my life with, and if it's not her, so be it. It will come in time. Thanks for writing.
I continue to be extremely sad (coupled with angry) about the diitegration of my family over "unhappiness".
Well, my H announced he wanted a divorce because I'm a lousy housekeeper. Why couldn't he just hire a cleaning service instead of getting a girlfriend??? I don't need to be married to someone like that!!! However, I, too, am sad and angry....plus scared (been married 30 years!).
I have a question for you just so I can understand your feelings better(not to upset you further): Do you really want to be married to the wife you describe to us? Do you ever talk to your children about how they would feel if you got divorced? Would they want you to be in an unfullfilling relationship just to keep the family together??? I, too, have a D17. That is challenging enough without dealing with divorce issues.
So, what can WE do to make the most of an ugly situation??? Can you look forward to your leave and enjoy every minute with your children???
Why couldn't he just hire a cleaning service instead of getting a girlfriend??? I don't need to be married to someone like that!!! However, I, too, am sad and angry....plus scared (been married 30 years!).