Well, H agrees with the submissive theory

[bombardier50]

(((((LFL))))))

I can hear you hurting, and I'm sorry for your pain. I'm feeling what you're feeling. I know how bad it hurts...but...

You DO NOT deserve your misery. I have stopped taking the blame for my situation, and I feel better for it.

I don't know your full story, just what I've read on your thread, but I have to ask myself...what's up with your hubby? I mean, you sound like my dream woman. Any guy's dream woman, for that matter. You're a good mom AND love to make love.

Wow.

Have you tried just not initiating? Have you tried just completely stopping talking, suggesting, or pursuing sex? Are you inundating him with too much focus on the sex life so that you're driving him away?

I guess my point is, I've learned the painful lesson that I can't make my W feel/do/think anything...I have no control over her. The harder I tried to change her, the worse things got. Threats and ultimatums just drove us farther apart. Like you, I warned my wife that if the physical part of our relationship continued to be non-existent, that I might look elsewhere. She just shrugged her shoulders, teared-up, and told me she "didn't know what to do." Sounds a little like your sitch...