IC - I understand your point. But that is a major difference between men and women who cheat, I think. The women tend to delude themselves into thinking they are "in love" with this person. (ugh. I'm such an idiot). And the men often cheat without the emotional attachment it seems. Most people tend to have somewhat more sympathy for women because our stupid bunnies tend to get trampled on and left for dead, while the wolf scurries off with a full belly. Not that you were a wolf and I was a bunny, but in our cases, you didn't have the emotional attachment and I did. I wouldn't be in this crazy state if the love chemicals weren't flowing. ugh again.
Anyways, it's all shot to hell now. I left a message for the guy that this was going to lead to nothing but hurt if he couldn't at least be honest with me about his feelings. (He's always been very emotionally withdrawn, typical man in many ways). Like a total nutjob, I tell him I might be falling in love with him and not willing to go any further with this unless he felt the same. No response. jackass
I deserve this misery.
And to top it all off, I had a long discussion with H about the whole mess and he wants to keep working on the M. Nothing seems to phase this man. Not sure if that is good or bad. I'd be out the door if I were him. Why do I do this to myself? Why can't I just drop this insanity and be happy in my M?
I told H I just feel so lonely, so unloved. He started to cry at that point and said he just doesn't know if he can fix it. He shows me love in his own way all the time but just not in the way I feel I need - sexually. So nothing is any different, even after all the drama of today. And I'm still lost. I don't know what to do anymore.
