I locked up so here we go w/ thread #3. I don't get how to properly link so I am putting a link to my first thread at the bottom of this post. The link to my second is in the sig.
Yesterday was another day in the land of limbo. H showed up early in the morning and spent a couple of hours just hanging out. Ds wanted to go shopping so H went to work and I took them out. I tried calling before we went home to see what his plans were. H didn't answer his cell and I got POed. I don't think he ever misses a call or text from the EAs, often misses mine. Another reason I shouldn't call. H called Ds phone an hour later (mine was off) to apoligize. H ran an errand for D10 an left his phone at work. If that is the case at least he wasn't talking to the EAs for the hour.
H came by in the evening for dinner. Actually came much earlier than when he was living here. I had hockey tickets from work and asked if he wanted to take Ds lastnight or tonight. I made no mention of whether or not I would go. H said they could go last night. He also made no mention of me going. Ds were excited to go but not happy that I wasn't going. Of course they said nothing to H. So they went and left me alone on a Friday night. I did run to the mall as there were some things I needed to pick up. H texted me a couple of times from the game. Seems they had a good time. It is tiring for me to plan things for them to do so that they aren't just sitting home w/ H bored. I wish he would start doing some planning.
Not sure what today will bring. H asked if he could stop by to which I said of course. Don't know how long he will be here or if he expects alone time.
I waited around yesterday morning for H to call and let me know his plans. I finally gave up around 11 and decided to take the Ds shopping. There was something on sale that I had seen the night before and D15 wanted to get it. D10 was upset about going and I had to force her to go since H was not around. A few minutes after we left H called. I wish he would have been on the way to the house so I could tell him we were gone and he would have to wait around for us. He was calling to say he was going shopping w/ a friend(male). An hour later H called to say they were headed to another store. I said ok we were getting something to eat. Ds and I ended up spending a couple of hours at the mall and had a pretty good time. H showed up a couple of hours later. Ate something, spent some time on the computer then went and napped on the couch for a couple of hours. After he woke up he ate dinner then left a little while later. Not much quality time.
H did ask me about New Years Day. I told him that his dad invited himself over and I invited his mom. Said she wasn't celebrating and I told him I wasn't going to beg. H asked if I invited his aunt and her family. I said no I didn't feel like dealing w/ all that. Not quite sure why I should knock myself out for his family when he floats in and out of our home.
Today doesn't promise to be much better. We are going to church in the morning as a "family". No one at church knows are sitch. Then H will be going to his football game. He invited his mom who isn't going but not me. I wouldn't have gone but an invite would have been nice. I have no idea who H is taking.
Church was tough today. The sermon was on family and forgiveness. Hs should not be bitter towards wife. Tried to see if there was an reaction on H's face. Wished I could read his mind.
D10 asked who H was taking to the game as he has 4 seats. Said he was going alone. Told me he would sell extra tickets on street.
On the way to church H was talking about me getting a new car. Just made the last payment on mine. On the way home he pulls in a car lot to look at a couple of models I said I liked. Would love to know his motive. I think h just wants me to have something w/ a warranty if things become final.
Church was tough today. The sermon was on family and forgiveness. Hs should not be bitter towards wife. Tried to see if there was an reaction on H's face. Wished I could read his mind.
How great that he was there to hear it!!! I know that they don't want us to believe that they are thinking about things...but they have to be. Hopefully the sermon evoked some thoughts. J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
I went for a little rollercoaster ride today. H asked me about having his family over for New Years Day. I had asked him about it on Christmas and he said do what I want. H seemed less than thrilled w/ idea so I said nothing to his family. His dad called a few days ago to ask about it and I said him and MIL could come over, but we weren't having everyone. Told H about this yesterday. Today he asks and is upset that I didn't say anything to the rest of HIS family. He is worried they will assume we are having it and show up. I told him I didn't invite them because I didn't want to pressure him to do something he wasn't comfortable w/. Told him they could come if he wanted. H said no, he just wanted to make sure they knew and thought we should call them. H seemed pretty upset w/ me but wouldn't communicate his feelings. I ended up calling MIL and she told me his brother was working and not to worry about his aunt. Shared this w/ him and then he was ok and thanked me for finding out the info.
When H left I was outside talking to him. H told me I better get inside before I got THOs. I told him it was too late. So he came over to look and play. Then he told me he better leave as he was getting excited. I told him playfully not to have someone else take care of that but to save it for me. Not what I expected a half an hour earlier.
best of luck to you lizzy I dont know your whole sitch but you seem to be on the right track...its so hard to stay even keeled when they are up & down so much.....wish I had headlights to work with...its a very powerful tool ..LOL...just not the same for men I guess hang in there..(no pun intended)
why im here http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1247860&page=1#Post1247860 me 47 w 44 m 20 s 18 s 14 s 8 bomb dropped 10/8/07
Thanks Lky. I have never since him go up and down in such a short period of time. I hope that H realized that I was trying to respect his feelings by not forcing a family gathering. I'm hopeful that what I was saying to him sunk in a little and that is why he left in a good mood. I shared w/ him somethings my C had told me and told him she was wrong about one. I think he apprecitated that as he doesn't care for my C. Oh well, It is the last day of the year from H--- and I'm looking forward to the next year being much better.
HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone. I hope the year is starting off great for you.
Not to dwell on the past, but I do like to journal here. Yesterday was another day w/ miscommunication. I had told H the night before that I needed to take D15 to get a dress for an upcoming dance. H told me he was working in the morning but would be over after lunch. I was planning to wait until he got there as D 10 didn't want to go. Not sure that I even discussed that w/ H. H calls around 1:00 and asked how shopping was going. Told him we didn't go and that I was waiting for him since D10 didn't want to go. H seems upset and says that I said I was taking the girls shopping. I said no I was only planning to go to one store, we went shopping the other day. H kept insisting I said we were going shopping. H said he would be at the house around 3. I enden up taking both Ds and we found the perfect dress. Of course I was very upset when I got off the phone and the Ds had to suffer my mood.
It kills me when H insists I told him something that I didn't. H can't remember so many things I tell him, yet he is so sure that I said certain things that I didn't. I am starting to think I should transcribe our conversations. That reminds me, I need to make a calendar of Jan. events so he has advance warning of everything.
I went for a little rollercoaster ride today. H asked me about having his family over for New Years Day. I had asked him about it on Christmas and he said do what I want. H seemed less than thrilled w/ idea so I said nothing to his family. His dad called a few days ago to ask about it and I said him and MIL could come over, but we weren't having everyone. Told H about this yesterday. Today he asks and is upset that I didn't say anything to the rest of HIS family. He is worried they will assume we are having it and show up. I told him I didn't invite them because I didn't want to pressure him to do something he wasn't comfortable w/. Told him they could come if he wanted. H said no, he just wanted to make sure they knew and thought we should call them. H seemed pretty upset w/ me but wouldn't communicate his feelings. I ended up calling MIL and she told me his brother was working and not to worry about his aunt. Shared this w/ him and then he was ok and thanked me for finding out the info. 
hang in there..(no pun intended)
HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone. I hope the year is starting off great for you.