Quote: Your H is slowly understanding. He is listening to you.
howdy KAW,
h is listening but unfortunatley when I do speak up about what's bothering me...what needs of mine aren't being met..h is left thinking that I am just misserable!!
I then have to explain to him that no..I am not misserable..there are just some things that I am not happy with.
I don't know if h will ever acutally "get it" or if he will continue to expect me to just understand him and his possition.
I'm having another one of those days where I resent h for having his a, and wondering what that a was all about!! were they just friends who laughed and hung out or where they friends who....well....you know where I'm going with that one...
yes h did give me a hug...did tell me that he's here because he loves me...did sit with me on the couch (though we again watched cnn/fox news) we did fall asleep on the couch...around midnight h we woke and h moved to the other couch til 3am when I again woke and went upstairs..because of the snow I don't know it h actually came up to bed or just came up to give me a hug and then leave to plow.
I don't know...I guess I'm just tired of thinking that to h ow is prettier, thinner, smarter (or dumber actually) funnier, sexier, ier, ier, ier.....
get the point!!
I just want h to tell me that I AM ALL THAT and more to him!!
I want some compliments damn it!! I want a pat on the back (ok the but too!!)
I just want to know that h appreciates me...but if I say that to h, he will tell me....don't I thank you for everything...I always thank you for everything you do...but you see that is different that is thanking me for doing something...not thanking me for being me!!!! not thanking me for being strong enough (most of the time) to put asside bad thoughts and let him come home accepting what has been done and trying to move on!!
I don't know...
feeling fat and ugly when I know damn well that I am neither!!! do I feel that way because of h??? or because of me?? do I expect myself to be perfect and know that I am not??? am I comparing myself to some woman that I don't even know??? have never seen?? from what I know she's short...blonde (ya right the town she lives in has the market on bleach cornered) not terribly attractive it's just her "sweetness".
suppose I shouldn't compare myself to ow...h chose to come home to me so she mustn't be all that...just wish that h would say something bad about her tell me I'm better than her..but it is not like h to speak ill of anyone so he is left only to say...I came home to you didn't I?? that should say something..doesn't that say something???
well I wish he would say LL you are beautiful, sexy, fun, loving, caring, dedicated, smart, independant, compationate, strong, understanding, special, and I'm a lucky man to be able to call you my wife...btw will you marry me and put your rings back on????
