getting those feelings back

[sage]

From my own M. I know that this area is just like other bad cycles that are so easy to fall into. If I don't feel like my needs are getting met, I get stressed and start pressuring H. which TOTALLY makes him not interested which just stresses me more

huge cycle that I know occurs all the time here and I've communicated that to h...h either doesn't get it or just doesn't care or cares but doesn't have any desire to do something different.

Well..in this case I was wondering what YOU could be doing differently to break the cycle, not your H.

For example, when you get to the point where you're feeling stressed and unloved because H. isn't affectionate with you, how do you think you normally react? Do you retreat? Get mad? Get distant?

maybe a 180 is called for?

the only 180 I can see for this instance is for me to just not care anymore..thing is when I just don't care anymore what will be left???

Try this out...what if for a while you decided to NOT take H's lack of physical affection as a sign that he doesn't love you (or appreciate you or whatever). What if you just decided to act "as if" his disinterest really had nothing to do with you? That it was all about him. What would you do differently?

Sage