nope!! not even worth the effort on my part cause even seeking neg reinforcment is still me putting energy into the r and honestly I'm getting spent on it.
Quote: I'm wondering if you've ever consciously focused on "physical intimacy with H" as a specific DB goal. In other words, treat it like less of an emotional issue (even though it is! It's so hard to feel as though you're not getting what you need/want in the M.) and more of an experiment a la DB'ing. Identifying what works and what doesn't. Could be fun figuring out the "formula"!
when I put it out of focus was when h first came home and was overly physcial (and not just sexually) then though I liked it I found it bothersome that I was expected to believe he was not physical with ow and yet couldn't keep his hands off of me. I don't know what the formula could possibly be?? maybe the wind has to blow just right accross his a$$ for him to be affectionate toward me.
Quote: From my own M. I know that this area is just like other bad cycles that are so easy to fall into. If I don't feel like my needs are getting met, I get stressed and start pressuring H. which TOTALLY makes him not interested which just stresses me more
huge cycle that I know occurs all the time here and I've communicated that to h...h either doesn't get it or just doesn't care or cares but doesn't have any desire to do something different.
Quote: maybe a 180 is called for?
the only 180 I can see for this instance is for me to just not care anymore..thing is when I just don't care anymore what will be left???
so h never did make it up to bed last night...he woke at some point in the wee hours and simply moved from the couch in the basement to the couch in the family room watching cnn/foxnews...now you could say well he is watching whats going on in the world like so many others are BUT this is what he did before..this is where it starts on every down turn...he starts falling asleep on the couch and doesn't come up to bed and whala!! the dis-ease settles in.
h woke me this am when he wanted to leave (son was awake already) I moved from bed to the couch...h called shortly after to see if dd had woken (the time change had her sleeping late) when dd woke I called so he could hear her say "dadee" since he seemed worried. that was that he said he had to go cause his breakfast was being served (dunkin donuts coffee and egg crossaint) said he'd call back later...at this point, whatever!!!!
it's h's world and i just live in it!!!!!
I'm getting really tired of this and would love to just give up at this point each night when I go to sleep I make a stop by the kids rooms for their last kiss of the night and on my way there I am flooded with the though...I'm doing this for you guys!!
I don't know...I'm not happy...I don't know what it is that h wants from me or expects of me but I cannot live the rest of my life this way!!
