FANTASTIC article, Mojo. I think everyone here should read it, men and women both, especially karen, LFL, Journey, Fran... the sexual confidence thing is very interesting. (I'm sure there are Nice Guy nerdy black men out there, too, just as there are Deida-esque white ones SOMEWHERE.) The description of what sexually confident masculine behavior looks like-- I like it.
Lou, how do you think BB would respond to a man (black or white) who behaved this way? How about Mrs. hairdog (oh yeah, she'd sue him!)?
White men over 40 have lost their waistlines and their zest for life-if they ever had it. They carry resentments, grudges and extra pounds in their basketball bellies. Perhaps a good part of that bloat is unhappiness. ... Society overvalues the white man, leaving him angry and bitter when he realizes, around age 40, that he's not all that.
I've heard men give this same reasoning for dating younger women...that women over 40 are bitter, lifeless and complain about everything.
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
I couldn't help but jump in on this, particularly the dating experiences. Since it looks more and more like I'll be back out in the single world before long, what the women are experiencing seems actually quite motivating for me.
It seems my competition would include: 1. Fat guys 2. Guys with combovers 3. Insecure guys 4. Mushroom hunters 5. Alcoholics 6. Rednecks
If this perspective has any basis in reality, then sign me up for the dating world right now!
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
I couldn't help but jump in on this, particularly the dating experiences. Since it looks more and more like I'll be back out in the single world before long, what the women are experiencing seems actually quite motivating for me.
It seems my competition would include: 1. Fat guys 2. Guys with combovers 3. Insecure guys 4. Mushroom hunters 5. Alcoholics 6. Rednecks
If this perspective has any basis in reality, then sign me up for the dating world right now!
Especially the mushroom hunters should be really easy to blow out of the water.
Lil Lou, how do you think BB would respond to a man (black or white) who behaved this way?
Like the black man described in the article? I don't know.
I do know BB thinks most black men are players, have a smooth line that is mostly talk, just to get what they want. Black guys will say one thing and do something else.
I know BB thinks some/many Hispanic men are too controlling.
I know BB thinks most Native American men are lazy. I heard BB say Native American mothers want their daughters to marry working white guys.
Fran I guess that's why teen culture is shifting in that direction. The white boys seem to be wannabe black guys Fran, I saw this when I worked in the group home for boys. It wasn’t so much the boys wanted to be black, it was more the boys wanted to rebel and be identified with the group with few rules. They embraced anarchy. They didn’t want to work but wanted lots of money, to have power over someone. They liked the illusion of wealth and excitement, using drugs, and being someone in a tight knit group.
They were big on thinking the way they did things and thought was the way other people should act and think.
They saw how famous rappers were and identified with them. They liked calling their girlfriends bitche$ and ho’s. They liked the rappers clothing, jewelry, and that was one they could emulate even at home and get away with it. It was one of their alter egos they could act out.
Another group of boys in the group home, were the skate boarders. No rap music, more baggy clothing and the two groups hated each other.
We also had other wana-bee groups like pimps, priest trainees that wanted to gain peoples confidence so they were in control. Some wanted to be drug dealers or lawyers/judges.
A few guys wanted to go into the medical field. They had sexual issued that got them in trouble, surprise
Mojo I start exclusively dating GP so I change my "status" on the site to indicate that I am involved with someone. If anything I experienced a slight increase in the number of men e-mailing me. Why is this the case? I actually researched this on a few different places on the internet and my conclusion is that men absolutely think it is fair game to "steal" other men's girlfriends no matter what Mo, I experienced some of “Oh? she is your girl, I will step back” in my time. I never experienced the fair game thing in your post.
About the abused woman, I can relate to that. I think it starts out the guy wanting to help her then gets to liking her more and more. Then the EA or what ever starts.
I want black men. They want me. My opinion about the writer that likes black, I think she had an opinion first, hers, and then wrote the article to support her preference.
A white woman past forty is often passed over by her white-male contemporaries OH boo hoo! I overhear some picky women who don’t have much, talk about men that offer to date them, but the guy is nice but too this or that. I smell a double standard in this and the woman that wrote the article.
I hear guys say some women are so picky when a guy talks to a woman (my college experiences) she acts like she is putting in an ordering a 7 course dinner. Then, 3 months later, the guy sees her out with a burger flipper, which doesn't last.
My question, do black men have more adversity growing up and become more skilled at convincing other people they have what it takes or what the OP is looking for? In a way a slightly harsher environment is a better trained to some men and to other men it damages them? It is something like Darwin's Natural Selection process of weeding out the weak and average and the strongest member of the society gets the prizes.
've heard men give this same reasoning for dating younger women...that women over 40 are bitter, lifeless and complain about everything.
Probably it's somewhat true. That's why all the boys like the "bunkey". By definition, she is sweet not bitter and lively rather than lifeless. I get my need to complain about everything fix here so I don't have to impose upon my dates.
Anyways, all you post-Deida guys here on the BB have nothing to worry about. You all vibe pretty masculine to me. I just wonder what you all are waiting for.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
You all vibe pretty masculine to me. I just wonder what you all are waiting for. Maybe we have actually been listening to our W's about what they don't like.
Maybe a better approach would be to think and act, "D'm the torpedoes and full speed ahead! I want what I want and will get it!"
Especially the mushroom hunters should be really easy to blow out of the water.
The mushroom hunter was actually pretty sexy. About 6'2" with shoulders probably more than 3 ft. across (yummy). He runs a steel mill and told me straight-up that he used to be an alcoholic and was AA/dry for 15 years. Plus he said "Mmmmmm" when he hugged me goodbye even though it was vaguely inappropriate for the rural coffee shoppe we met at.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I start exclusively dating GP so I change my "status" on the site to indicate that I am involved with someone. If anything I experienced a slight increase in the number of men e-mailing me. Why is this the case?
Well, I think the assumption is that if your profile is still posted, then you're still looking, whether you're dating someone or even married. Anyone whose profile is active is fair game. If someone is really serious about "exclusively dating" someone, then they generally remove their profile or make it inactive.
