Jeff 52, former W 44, son 10, daughter 6. Married 12 years, together 15. Bomb: Feb 2006 I moved out (to give her space): May 2006 She wants a D: June 2006 Filed for D: Sept 2006 D final: Jan 2008
No recap.
Happy New Year. I so hope this one is better. But I said that last year too.
My last thread locked but I thought I would open one here until the divorce is final next month. Almost two years to the day.
W found a house and her offer was accepted. She emailed that she had "good news" and how "thrilled" she was.
I felt that I was once again hit in the gut when I was not looking. It hurt. I thought I was detached - past it. Not.
I did not respond to her email.
I was hoping. That is a bad thing to do. I was hoping with her mom's recent death and her opening up to me recently and with the holiday (you know, good will toward men) that maybe there was a crack in the armor. But no.
Can't help it - I still love her despite everything I said.
Or --- is it love or is it the loss? Loss of family and loss of my *control* of my life????
I just don't know.
I did not respond to her "good news" so she calls me. First, during 'movie night' with the kids. That crossed a boundry and I let her know. She got mad (all about her) but backed down.
She calls the next day earlier than she said she would. I was tired and did a poor job acting upbeat.
She asks "did I get the email"? I said (with a bit of sarcasm) "what email"? Long pause by her then she said "about the house".
I told her I was happy for her.
She then keeps me on the phone 30-minutes, asking all kinds of questions and asking if she did well (several times). All I did was validate and pat her on the back. She did do well I have to admit. I saw the house and it is nice and she got a good deal.
Then she asks about the settlement. Have to polish the papers some; she admitted her lawyer made an error (which I pointed out when she accused me of holding things up a few months ago). She asked for the latest copy - claims her lawyer did not have it (a lie by her lawyer - I checked with my lawyer: she delivered it to him two weeks ago).
Then she says that we should sign "together" next week. I told her we did not need to be there together. She almost insisted (she reminded me that I once joked about her having to buy ice cream if we settle so if we sign together she would buy) but she changed the subject back to the house.
Overall I am back in my depressed state. Please don't beat me up for the pity-party. Nothing much is going right in my life right now.
I have reread some of my past threads. I do not recognize that guy. It is SO interesting how my attitude and feelings changed over time and continue to change.
I am still not where I want to be. Hopefully next year will be better. I do get my house back but the place is falling apart and I just am not motivated to fix it up.
Guess I need to find a female who is good with tools! LOL.
