tony, you are right it's not all about sex I realize that, I don't look at h like a piece of meat though sometimes it does come across that way...when it comes to sex sometimes it's just for the sex and other times it's for the way he hugs me and kisses me afterward. what I'm looking for is the holding hands, the gentle kiss on the cheek, his arm around me...I guess I notice these things more when we go out and it had been so long since we left the house together...why does it just have to be when we leave the house?? why can't h put his arm around me in our back yard?? h built a bon fire in the back yard last night...asked if I was comming out...I did...I sat on a stump while he poked at the fire..tossing on more leaves etc...it was nice but I would have enjoyed it more if for one min h stood next to me or even snuck a little kiss...
all the things that h used to do...and honestly is starting to do again...just slowly and because of all this I leave all initiation up to him why?? he doesn't reject those offerings from me...just the sexual ones.
Quote: I don't think your C had any business telling you what H said! Sounds more like a troublemaker than a C! Look for another one!
c didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know. and h did a good job of repairing things afterward.
we have a joint session in a few weeks...we'll see how that goes..if c is a trouble maker then we'll find a new one with no problem.
also something to keep in mind...c has been listening to me regularly since june every week or every other week...this was the first time he got a chance to talk to h...I do understand h's feelings...fears...etc...I know the feeling he's looking for (at least I think I do) I just didn't do a good job of hearing it from c and c didn't do a good job of calming me down (but then again I didn't give him much of a chance cause I wouldn't shut up to listen)
