Today is a pretty crappy day. I am feeling really miserable and lonely tonight. W and I usually go out for dinner on Friday night with D, but I didn't talk to W at all today. W called me about 5pm and asked if I was going to pick up D (of course I was, it is my weekend with her). I asked if we were going to dinner, and at first she said yes, then she changed her mind and said she was sick and wanted to do it this weekend instead. D and I ended up going out somewhere else together on our own, but I'm feeling pretty lost at the moment. W is so hot and cold all the time - It is odd that she has called me this week about things. This week she has called me every day, which is really not her normal pattern. Normally she NEVER calls.
I don't know... Sometimes it feels like one step forward, one step back. Earlier this week felt like two steps forward instead, but I guess this is now two steps back.
Hi Brit, I was going to post something earlier today when I noticed you were locked. Now my 41 year old brain can't remember what it was. I hope it was the secret to saving our Rs.
It is interesting that your W keeps bringing up the OM even though there is not much of an R between them. My H never mentions his OWs. I made it clear a couple of months ago that I didn't want to hear anything about them. I guess it wouldn't bother me so much if he would be honest about his feelings for them.
Hope your day went well. This Cleveland weather is pretty depressing tonight.
Hi Brit, I was going to post something earlier today when I noticed you were locked. Now my 41 year old brain can't remember what it was. I hope it was the secret to saving our Rs.
My brain is mostly just mush right now too
Originally Posted By: lizzy
It is interesting that your W keeps bringing up the OM even though there is not much of an R between them. My H never mentions his OWs. I made it clear a couple of months ago that I didn't want to hear anything about them. I guess it wouldn't bother me so much if he would be honest about his feelings for them.
My opinion right now is that if W wants to lower herself to the level of OM, that's her deal - I'm sure it will be a rewarding relationship full of lies, distrust and deceit. Seriously - My W is 35, this guy is 21, lives with his mom and never goes anywhere. It's such a bunch of crap.
I don't know how to reply to your last post Brit. Maybe the OM is looking for another mother. Actually he probably has it pretty good at home and is in no hurry to move on.
I agree with you that all of this is a bunch of crap. Just stick it out and wait for your wife to fall off the fence and see which side actually has the greener grass.
I agree with you that all of this is a bunch of crap. Just stick it out and wait for your wife to fall off the fence and see which side actually has the greener grass.
I'm really getting tired of it all - I'm stuck at home today with D (who is sleeping right now), and W is no where to be seen. I've had D every night since Christmas Eve, which I don't mind, but W doesn't seem to give a crap that she isn't spending any time with D. W has made it pretty clear through her actions that she's okay with abandoning her family to pursue whatever it is in life she is looking for.
Hey Brit, I hear you. It's like the convenience is now there for them to do whatever they want, but they still get to enjoy the good parts of being parent...part time. That's what sometimes makes me believe H just wanted a break (maybe a permanent one) from real responsibility. Must be nice to pop in and out whenever they want. My poor D is mentioning Daddy more and more and how she wants him. I think she does the opposite when she's with him. It's so unfair to the kids to do this.
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W has made it pretty clear through her actions that she's okay with abandoning her family to pursue whatever it is in life she is looking for.
This is epitomy of selfishness as far as I'm concerned. It boggles how my H has so easily given up a close R with his kids just for OW. How can she be worth giving that up? How can you not want a close R with your kids? They have to be pretty messed up inside to walk away like this. I keep praying that he comes around and realizes that it is worth trying for our M for the sake of the kids. I'm saying I believe in staying together just for kids...what I mean is how can you give up your R with the kids without even trying? I just don't get it. I've said it before Brit...your a great Dad Brit and your D is lucky to have you. J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
Ditto to both Brit and Jenny. One of Hs claims was that it was me and the Ds and then him. Yet I am the one who is planning activities for them to rebuild there once close R. Yes it is unfair to the kids. I don't want to stay married just for the kids, but I do think they deserve us trying to work it out. At least if my R doesn't work out I will be able to look the Ds in the face and say I did all I could. Brit and Jenny you will be able to do the same.
I'm saying I believe in staying together just for kids...what I mean is how can you give up your R with the kids without even trying? I just don't get it.
I meant to say I DON'T believe in staying together just for the kids. Sorry for the missing word! J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
I hear you. It's like the convenience is now there for them to do whatever they want, but they still get to enjoy the good parts of being parent...part time. That's what sometimes makes me believe H just wanted a break (maybe a permanent one) from real responsibility. Must be nice to pop in and out whenever they want.
W can't handle it with D is sick, or when she is upset - If W and I are together with D, if one of us even gets out of the car to go to a store or even pump gas D starts screaming. There have been a couple of times when I've dropped W off at her house with D in the car and W is bawling on her doorstep because D is crying in the car.
Tonight W and I were supposed to get dinner together, but she was AWOL - Didn't answer her phone, not on IM all day. I ended up going over to W's parents with D to pick up some Christmas stuff that wouldn't fit in my car the on Christmas Day. FIL basically told me "You shouldn't put up with her crap any longer", and MIL asked if W was out partying - I don't think they have a whole lot of respect for her choices.
Of course, when I got home at 10pm there was an IM from W 'Did you call?'. Yes, I did. Four hours ago. Thank God nothing happened to D and I had to get in touch with W about it... W seems pretty depressed, and she is behaving like she drank a lot. She's so up and down this week.
