I agree with your last post totally, and I must say, I did exactly the same thing. We went to MC, and I followed the advice 100%. I never used to leave work when our kids were sick, and always made her do that. That was one of many things that built up resentment. But, like you, as soon as I found out that was an issue, I went to the opposite extreme to make it up to her. I stayed home/left work EVERY time one of our kids was sick, to the point that my boss started to comment. I like you started planning activities: Broadway Shows, nights out. Same result as you. To the point that last Christmas, friends of ours said they thought I was "an abused husband", because I compromised myself so much.
I wasn't trying to say that you or I were perfect, or did nothing wrong. I think we were just hard working guys trying to do the best for our families and keep a lot of balls in the air at one time. I suspect your wife, like mine, was difficult to live with anyway. My W. has alienated close friends who we’re known for many years, because they may have said something she didn’t agree with. I can think of at least two women, who have no idea why my W. no longer speaks to them. I did the same as you. W. wanted to go to nursing school. Great...I support you. I'll pay $1000 per course for you...She quit after 3 courses. Could I have gotten mad? Sure. Could we have both been uber-alpha males? Sure. Where would that have gotten us? I believe in the same place we are now. We're NOT perfect, but I have to say, we're just human beings with flaws like any other person. Did we do enough to have our partner destroy any hope for our kids to have an intact family? I don't think so, but that doesn’t matter. You sound a lot like me. The game we played was like "Whack-a-Mole" When W.'s bitched about an issue, we focused on fixing it with laser-like precision. But guess what? That mole stuck its head out of another hole! Same approach, right?
The article I posted about is what we’ve both heard before. Men just sometimes don’t get it. My W. said the same thing about “teaching me to listen”. This is such bulls&it on both of their parts. I nor you are mind readers. If you want something…ask for it. There’s another article that was attached to the one I psoted, that said run your marriage like a business. Make it public what you need. Have a good New Year. I’ll look in on you later!
