Stuck in Neutral - MN Man's 5th thread

[phbear316]

MM

I hear you about the self destructive thoughts, i have also had them and i am sure lots of folks here have had them to. You like me need to stop with them. Immediatley.

I am new at this, and barely and i mean barely keeping my head above up from drowning, but someone had pointed out to me a while ago, you come first.

You have to start thinking positive and bringing that into your life every day. I know you are saying its hard, i agree, it is hard. But you need to break this funk you are in. Start doing things you like when you start to have these down feeling come upon you, You have to say to yourself STOP, picture a stop sign, yeild sign caution sign big orange cones, STOP. Immediately, and i mean immediately think of some thing good. And something that makes you happy, and try not to make that thought about you & W, think about something that the kitty did, something funny you did, something funny you saw on tv, a funny movie part, a comedian.

You hold the power to make yourself feel differently, happy, etc. I am not there yet like others here, but i find sometimes if i stop, think of something happy, or funny it helps. I will ask do you have an ipod or mp3 player? listen to upbeat music, not sad songs, not songs your wife liked things like that. I know right after the bomb h dropped i could not sleep i found a whole bunch of free podcasts for helping me to relax to get to sleep. And you know what, it worked, i never make it to the end of the session, out like light.

Do you have a hobby or hobbies? If yes, do them if not find one. I found going back to crocheting helps me keep my mind and hands busy. I find i have purchased more yarn and word find books in the last few months that i will have a blanket the size of 6 king size beds and i don't care.

Here is an idea, write down these feelings you get, and then go over them with your therapist during your appointment. It may help you both work on things. It may help you to write them down, to journal them. This is something i am going to start for new years resolution.

I do also crave time with my h, but you have to start making time for you. I'm telling you go join a gym, go for walks, get some weights, cook, clean the house, ride a bike, do crosswords, volunteer,take a class in something you have always wanted to do. Golf, do something, go on vacation Get my drift! (gosh i should really listen to myself and take my own advice sometimes anyway rambling

IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE YOU DON'T WANT TO HELP YOURSELF!! Don't say that you don't want to help yourself. NOT TRUE! you do you just don't know how yet, you will know, I know it hurts i feel your pain, trust me. I feel your pain right with you.

Come here, there will always be someone here.

you can send me private message if you feel you need to, i am worried about you MM. But i know you like me, you will find strength, things will start to get better, you will have good days and bad days. I am proud of you for going to md to discuss anti depressants, it take a STRONG person to admit they need help, and you are STRONG!..I have thought about going to my md and talking to him about it, but i am not there yet, not strong enough yet

hugs

phbear