Trixi movin' on up...

[Trixi]

My old thread locked (!); time for me to title my threads based on ME doing something, not what H is doing. (Also doing that for the sake of continuity.)

Well, as the old saying goes-why do today, what I can put off until the last possible second? LOL I have SO much stuff. At least 15 boxes of books-and at least half of those related to self-help and saving a marriage/relationship. Just kidding--but I do have A TON of books like that. If I met a new guy and he saw all the books I have read, he would either think me crazy or an expert on relationships. (Neither is true, of course.)

This is SOOO hard; finding momentos of things we did; stashes of "stuff" I intended to make into scrapbook pages; cards he gave me; books that had ideas and plans that we were supposed to do.

He's in NY and occassionally I see him log into Messenger. I don't IM him and he doesn't IM me. I figure it's up to him to initiate contact. Too bad the last time he saw me I was a wreck; he probably doesn't want to IM me for fear that I will have some sort of meltdown. I SOOOOOOOOOO regret sleeping with him this last time. That was so stupid! Great way to be a doormat. UGH!

I am now packing in earnest and doing what I need to do, but as each room is piled with boxes, it REALLY is hitting me that soon (by this time next week) I will no longer be calling this MY home. I am still a bit in shock that it is really happening. I don't want to break down (again) in front of H. I really want H to deliver the bed, dresser & couches next Saturday and have him be green with envy. I know he will not actually be jealous (not his nature), but I would like him to think that there is a possibility he didn't make the right choice. It doesn't really matter what he thinks since the situation is what it is, I'm just daydreaming.

I signed up for Chemistry.com for the heck of it. (My bff and I were IM'ing as she signed up for eH, so I thought it might be fun to sign up for something too.) 6 guys have said they are interested in getting to know me better; I haven't responded because a)it costs money and b)I am so not ready. I thought I'd be open to just going to the movies or something, but as I was scrolling thru one guy's photos (nice looking guy) he had a shot of his lower legs/feet looking out towards the ocean. And as I looked at those 'man' feet, it hit me! This is a GUY! and he's NOT my H. EEK! I mean it, it really freaked me out.

Doing walk thru of rental tomorrow and getting keys. Having an entertainment center from craigslist delivered Monday. True possession of the house starts Tuesday. Delivery of Door2Door Thursday. Rest of big stuff delivered via H on Saturday the 5th. Drink myself into oblivion Saturday night. Ha ha- just kidding.

*sigh*

Guess I better get back to packing. BLECH!!!

[Trixi]

If you like animals and dancing- you'll appreciate this: YouTube video

this made me LOL

[NikB]

(((Trixi)))

Just in case I end up moving semi-quickly I decided to clean out the office tonight. I had forgotten how much emotional stuff was in there!!

Dunno if this helps but.. I made myself a "not ready to deal w/it emotionally" box and threw that stuff in there. It's a fairly small box, but made it easier than sorting through it now.

I'm with ya.. I hate packing.. but you've got a bright future ahead of you, you can do this!!

[NikB]

Oh and... OMG.. I am in tears (laughing) from that video!!

When he puts his "mohawk" up...

Thanks for sharing!!!

[NikB]

This one's pretty darn funny too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smKEfjNLUN8

[Trixi]

Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it) I hired my DD's friends to help me move out the big stuff. And a lot of the big stuff had little stuff on it/in it, which meant a lot of chucking things willy nilly into boxes. Not how I had wanted to pack, but that's okay. I'll just have to sort out things on the other side.

Okay, I got one more video. Just 5 seconds long. This thing just tickles me something fierce! Youtube PD I have 6 of these for pets.

[NikB]

Aw Trixi I'm sorry, can't imagine sorting it all AGAIN.

That was really cute!!! Is that a prairie dog?? There are a bunch of adorable pets that are illegal in Cali - that's one, Ferrets are another, so I'm always kinda unsure. Very cute video.

[Trixi]

Yup- it's a prairie dog

Yeah, I don't relish the idea of having to sort thru crap on the other end, but I am highly motivated to basically be out of the house by the time H gets back from NY.

Bed time; 'nother long day tomorrow.

[Trixi]

Mostly just journaling here.

Moving from house to house, slowly but surely. My girlfriend dropped off her horse trailer on Sunday, my parents totally saved my bacon by coming and helping me load big stuff and packing. (It was 15 man hours of work between the 3 of us.) If they hadn't come, I wouldn't have gotten hardly anything in the trailer.

Anyhoo-girlfriend moved the trailer from this house to the other yesterday noon time. She, a guy friend of mine and my daughter helped unload. Then DD and I unpacked the pantry stuff together. And then I put away all the dishes. Oh, and my friend also helped me move my prairie dogs, so they are now at the other house. (I thought I would have to wait for H to help, but now it's done-yay!)

If I keep going at this rate- I will be completely moved out before Saturday and won't have to be here for any drama/tears when H comes to drop off his stuff before coming to my house. I am still VERY sad (incredibly sad) that we ended up at this place, but there's nothing I can do about it.

My new house is VERY homey. I am excited to get in there and finish "nesting". The containers with the bulk of my stuff will be delivered Thurs morning.

Surprisingly, I was not that emotional last night. In fact, not at all. Probably because the move is so distracting. yup- must be that because right now I am crying pretty good.

Last night at 9pm (midnight NYC time) H sent me a TM saying "happy new year from ts in nyc" I wrote back "Happy New Year! That's cool that you get to be in Times Square" and he said "Yeah we got to be right under the ball" (The "we" is (I assume) his sibs.)

What kind of a weird WAS TMs the LBS on the holidays?? I suppose it's a no win for him. If he didn't text, I'd be hurt/mad and when he does I'm confused as to WHY won't he just go to retrovaille with me so we can fix this??

[Trixi]

I never fully realized just how much more 'secure' I feel with a man in the house.
It's 4am right now and I went to bed at 1am. I am exhausted. I woke up because I had a nightmare where I was basically about to be killed. My heart was beating out of my chest and I was covered in sweat. I am staying in the old house, so I really shouldn't be as scared. The new house actually does have me worried--I guess I need to look into getting a security system tomorrow.

I thought I was at least kind of looking forward to staying over my first night in the house; now I am just feeling frightened. This whole thing frightens me.