Hi Stacy22 our stories are so similar that I find myself wanting to ask you if we are married to the same guy. And believe me at this point it would not surprise me. I have been seperated since NOV 1 and it hurts like hell. My H too comes over daily to see our 5 year old son. The daily visits make it so hard, but if I ask him not to come I am keeping him from his son. I too get the same response from my H that you do. He is very cold, he gets mad about any sort of relationship talk which I don't do, but if I happen to be too nice then he gets mad because maybe he thinks I have a hidden agenda and he thinks I am trying to get him back. He acts like he does not care and to sum it up he is mean and hurtful. I just don't freaking get it. My H is also in law enforcement (Sheriff). I have also dealt with infedelity. Because of the holidays I have let down my gaurd. I had gone dark and it was working. I also did a 180 and that worked as well. Since our situations are so similar let me tell you what I did- the first thing I did was stop the crying around him. I started dressing nicely every day (especially when I knew he was going to see me), I started loosing a bit of weight, I started keeping the house clean and I did fix it up a bit. All of these things were noticed. Keep all contact very professional. Don't call him, let him mke all the contact. Even when you think you need to call him about your kid don't. I you can possibly handle in then do. Act as though things are fine without him. Do make him responsible financially and do let him know if it comes up you will go for everything you are entitled to as his wife for 15 years. Don't be Mrs. Nice lady. Be tough and hard just like him. Right now you are not friends. What he did to you you don't do to a friend. You don't want whoever this man is back. You want a changed man back. As hard as this is going to be start approaching life like you are single and as though you have accepted divorce from this man. You do want to be divorced from THIS man, and if you show him you don't want the man that he is now maybe he will do some changing. He expects you to fall apart and I urge you not to give him the satisfaction. I was doing very well and I started to see results. With the holidays I had a moment of weakness and I started back with the R talk and the "I love you's and I want you to move back." Needless to say it backfired. I will be going dark again starting tomorrow and I am going to start having my H drop my son off with my mom so I don't have tot see him (at least for now). Those daily visits are like ripping a band-aid off. Also, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
