T, I am still with you. I check on you most days. I haven't posted much to you because I think I sound like a broken record but here we go.
It ain't over until you say it's over. She plans to serve you but hasn't served you. She could blow that off. Even after you have been served, she can kill the process. Even after you are served, separated, divorced or whatever, it can still come back together.
The OM can complicate things but that is the least of your worries. She might be grasping at the OM because she wants to convince herself that he is right for her and you are wrong. Or more likely he doesn't bust her chops and confront her at every turn, he doesn't challenge her mindset and thoughts.
The OM is a symptom. What are you doing to make you attractive to her and you. Same old party line but one you still need to get with if you want to have a chance. Clearly she still has come feelings for you. Yeah, she is gonna treat you like [censored] for a long time to come. NO, you don't deserve it, no it doesn't make sense. You just gotta deal with it or deal with getting divorced.
Consider what was working for a while and get back to that. Challenging her, questioning her about the OM, throwing digs at her about her behavior is all stuff that doesn't work. Stop it. Take the kids out be good with them. Come home be as pleasant as possible.
The very first thing you gotta do is STOP all talk of your relationship and the situation. Try to be positive. Your wife told you and BritInOH, not I'm telling you. Why come home if what you are coming home to is not positive? Every time it comes up you are reminding her that things suck right now. You almost gotta look at it like you are hoping she will forget things suck. Just get a few days of peace, with no confrontations or hassles on your part. You can't even begin to think about moving forward until you do that.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
