Good times and hard times these past days. I got sick as it's really hot here. H is taking turns between being sweet and being nasty. He is talking all the time again about how he thinks I will leave him, but now he is adding very strongly that he won't let me separate, how he is trying, how he is walking the line and I am not responding to it which is not true, I was just mellow because I was sick.
My computer got a bad, difficult virus, again, and I had to fix it. Guess what I found even though I was not snooping? This woman, one of the date site he was on is sending him virtual cards. First I thought it was the virus but then I saw the message. I could check that he is not replying to them. I did not confront him yet and I don't know if I will. I am just tired of this type of discussion. So I am being friendly and I will take my time to see what I will do. The weird part is that I didn't care as much as before.
Gladly reconnecting with old friends are keeping me in good spirits.
Unfortunately last night a dear friend called me to talk and told me her H just confessed he was seeing someone else, kind of an emotional affair and the start of a PA. She was devastated because he said it was her fault. It is one of those cases where she thought nothing was wrong with her R and now he is blaming her for everything. I did my best to calm her down and told her about some of our talks here. She did not know I went through it too and when we talked and I told her part of my sitch she was glad she called me. My H was around and he picked up the phone when she called.By what she said to him he could figure it out right away what was happening. He just kept coming in the room I was and I had to tell him to let me have my privacy.
When I hang up he started to comment on how her H was crazy to do that and criticize him. I got mad but just said calmly to him how he could criticize someone when he did the same thing, like he was better than her H.
Now the weird part is that he said I was bitter towards men. At this point I thought how wrong he was as I had the opportunity to read the threads of H, Jar, OM and thought to myself that I could never be bitter towards men after reading how strong and good H's they are. I told him he was mistaken, I could be bitter about women too as some accept to connect with married men. He said his reaction was because of what happened to us and how he admires women now. He said: - Remember when I thought I would have a hard time having a woman as a boss? Well, now I was contacted for a job opportunity where I would have a female boss and I am gladly willing to check it. You don't know how I have changed my mind lately.I had a MLC earlier than I supposed to and I think this guy is crazy to throw the good things in his life away.
With that he just got me, I could see he was sincere. I am glad for his 180 on this. Clumsly I think we are learning about each other in this M. But now, after going through what happened I have this traffic light in my head that gets yellow because of everything he have said before and lied about. I am trying not to react to it and let it be.
But still I have to figure out what to do about the card. Despite sometimes it seems I am wasting precious time I am trying to be patience as a scientific researcher and see where he is going to.
Ufff, long post... thanks for hearing.
PS: H was very concerned that as I was sick and the subject about why my friend called would relive the pain he inflicted me and I would be nasty to him. Guess I had not been that neglectful at all, huh?
