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Wow I have not had a thread lock in so long! I guess it was because there really wasn't much to say anymore. But it seems that Rich is in contact more these days and things are getting a bit strange.

Lets see, I left off with him finally calling me to tell me of his sick cousin in Peurto Rico who he went to see during Christmas. Yesterday he called again to say his cousin passed and the family was flying out for the New Year. Oh, he did say to call him if I needed anything. Hmmm......now that was very thoughtful but not much he can do for me being so far away.

I have been doing alot of soul searching and wanting to find my happiness again. I have purposly stalled in the selling of our home as I thought keeping it would make me happy. It won't. I do know that for either of us to be happy again it will not involve this house, so the first thing on my agenda after I recouperate it to pack it up completly and leave out only the bare essentials. (I have been watching SELL THIS HOUSE all day) The house is only 6 years old and I did do a wonderful painting job on it so the only thing that needs done is
de-cluttering.

I have so many wonderful things I AM going to accomplish this New Year that I can't hardly wait to begin!

I am no longer afraid of letting go completly and doing what I need to do to find my peace.

I do think that Rich is on the verge of trying to make a come-back, but I am not going to let that stop my plans either. I've waited a long time for him, I'm sure he can wait awhile for me if this is the way it is supposed to go.

Happy New Years to Everyone. Our lives are what we are going to make them! So they shall all be SPLENDID!

Jeanette


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Jeez Jeanette- i wonder if you are right about him. They are so confusing. moving sounds like a great idea.

i dont know how you are so strong. it is hard..i know getting a life and all that jazz...you know it is just wierd. How we are moving forward EVEN if we don't want to. I admire your strength I really do. I hope that some of it comes through and over here!! =)


M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06
Moved out 3/12/07
D final 7/30/2008
finding myself again


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Quote:
How we are moving forward EVEN if we don't want to.


Ah, that is it for many of us in the early stages - we are clinging to the past, wanting the past back. We would deny that we didn't want to move forward, but truly, in part we are afraid of moving forward . . . . and then we are find we are moving forward, and finally we embrace the change!

I am with Jeanette, if our h's want us back they will wait. We cannot put our lives on hold.

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LOL It's not about how strong anyone is. It's about what you want with your life. I have spent over two years being patient, waiting, dealing with the idiotic lies, the excuses the electric, water, phone cable being turned off. WHY? I am divorced, I have a nice permanent alimony waiting for me. I just have to sell the house first.

I thougth if I held onto this house and continued to suffer, it would help him come home. I don't even want to come home here anymore. You see?

This is not being happy. Not for me, not for him, my dogs even suffer from the ancxiety of it all.

Sometimes a little hard work is good for the soul. God can only do so much for us, then we have to take over from there.

I should have did this a long time ago!

cagzmom, it does not matter if I am right about him or not. It matters if I am RIGHT about me. He will have alot of catching up to do and I am not sure if he can do it.


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How long is recuperation?
I read that women try to hang on to the marital home as a sense of security and usually it puts them in a financial bind and they end up losing most everything.

Your sitch is different though, you have a big alimony waiting for you on the sale of the house. Hurry!!! you go girl!

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Originally Posted By: Jeanette1120
...I thougth if I held onto this house and continued to suffer, it would help him come home. I don't even want to come home here anymore. You see?

This is not being happy. Not for me, not for him, my dogs even suffer from the ancxiety of it all.

Sometimes a little hard work is good for the soul. God can only do so much for us, then we have to take over from there

I should have did this a long time ago!...

Jeanette, I think you sound convicted in selling the house. The house has no bearing on your R. A house is simply a house. If H won't come home because of the house, then the R would be built on a (ahem) house of cards.

I would say that God is giving you the conviction to act, i.e. to sell the house. Trust Him you wonderful lady!

Jeanette, I will add that your H saying to let him know if you need anything could be his way of saying "I want you to know I care".

Awesome posts in your thread! Thanks!


Me:56, W:51
D:26,S:24,S:22
Married:18
Bomb 9/27/06
Separated 11/27/06
Divorced 10/6/08
Leaving it up to God
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You go girl. I am so proud of you and want so much to follow in your positive foot steps.

I have decided to keep my house for now. It will be hard but I am looking at getting a little part time job on top of my other job to make sure I have no financial stress. I will do this only when my kids are with ex.

I am getting more and more comfortable being alone. I miss my ex but now know I can do it by myself.

Do you want your ex back???

He sure has made a mess of a very wonderful life.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

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Hey J!!

You sound great!

Selling your house might be the best thing for you. I know once I moved I felt better. No more memories around every corner.

I hope your recovery is going smoothly.

Take care!

Love,
Shades

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Jeanette, I think I am going to start to do a lot of packing also when I get home. I too live in a house that is 6 years old so it is in really good condition, I just have to de-clutter. It sucks that I will have to do all the work, but hey, what I pack, goes with me!

How are you feeling today?


Me:35, ex: 36
Sons: 9 & 7
Bomb: July, 2006
Divorced 2009
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MrsH

Quote:
It sucks that I will have to do all the work, but hey, what I pack, goes with me!
Oh yes!!

I did all the packing summer 06. At that point he wanted nothing, but his clothes, and professional papers. Now he wants things, and they are in store, and I have the key.


I am not a horrible person really

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