I live in Montana for crying out loud we don't have to many choices when it comes to therapy.
It sounds like maybe both you and your H are in law enforcement? If so, isn't there an employee assistance program available through your work? I also live in a rural state, but our EAP program is a 24/7 place to call and get hooked up with a local counselor and there are actually a lot of choices. I never thought I would use our EAP, but I'm really glad I made that phone call. Counseling hasn't "fixed" anything, but it's great to have a place to go for support in coping with these strong emotions and thinking through the ways that I want/need to change and grow.
It sounds like the best thing for you right now is to try to let go of any expectations involving your H. You just need time for you to absorb the shock of the last days and weeks without the pressure of dealing with him or worrying about what the future might bring. Today is enough to deal with.
Take deep breaths and do those things that calm you and help you feel centered. Exercise, read, talk to a friend, go for a drive, clean the house, make a voodoo doll. . . . I have found it tremendously helpful to read the posts on this site - the wisdom of people who have been there/done that and the success stories really work for me.
me: 47 H: 48 he has 2 grown sons M 1995(my 1st, his 3rd) hit iceberg 6/07 S 9/26/07 before now
