Trixi movin' on up...

[Trixi]

My old thread locked (!); time for me to title my threads based on ME doing something, not what H is doing. (Also doing that for the sake of continuity.)

Well, as the old saying goes-why do today, what I can put off until the last possible second? LOL I have SO much stuff. At least 15 boxes of books-and at least half of those related to self-help and saving a marriage/relationship. Just kidding--but I do have A TON of books like that. If I met a new guy and he saw all the books I have read, he would either think me crazy or an expert on relationships. (Neither is true, of course.)

This is SOOO hard; finding momentos of things we did; stashes of "stuff" I intended to make into scrapbook pages; cards he gave me; books that had ideas and plans that we were supposed to do.

He's in NY and occassionally I see him log into Messenger. I don't IM him and he doesn't IM me. I figure it's up to him to initiate contact. Too bad the last time he saw me I was a wreck; he probably doesn't want to IM me for fear that I will have some sort of meltdown. I SOOOOOOOOOO regret sleeping with him this last time. That was so stupid! Great way to be a doormat. UGH!

I am now packing in earnest and doing what I need to do, but as each room is piled with boxes, it REALLY is hitting me that soon (by this time next week) I will no longer be calling this MY home. I am still a bit in shock that it is really happening. I don't want to break down (again) in front of H. I really want H to deliver the bed, dresser & couches next Saturday and have him be green with envy. I know he will not actually be jealous (not his nature), but I would like him to think that there is a possibility he didn't make the right choice. It doesn't really matter what he thinks since the situation is what it is, I'm just daydreaming.

I signed up for Chemistry.com for the heck of it. (My bff and I were IM'ing as she signed up for eH, so I thought it might be fun to sign up for something too.) 6 guys have said they are interested in getting to know me better; I haven't responded because a)it costs money and b)I am so not ready. I thought I'd be open to just going to the movies or something, but as I was scrolling thru one guy's photos (nice looking guy) he had a shot of his lower legs/feet looking out towards the ocean. And as I looked at those 'man' feet, it hit me! This is a GUY! and he's NOT my H. EEK! I mean it, it really freaked me out.

Doing walk thru of rental tomorrow and getting keys. Having an entertainment center from craigslist delivered Monday. True possession of the house starts Tuesday. Delivery of Door2Door Thursday. Rest of big stuff delivered via H on Saturday the 5th. Drink myself into oblivion Saturday night. Ha ha- just kidding.

*sigh*

Guess I better get back to packing. BLECH!!!