Thanks for that. I don't plan to change my actions. He no longer pulls my strings. I have finally achieved detachment. Unfortunately that also means I finally no longer love him. I'm also more aware now that he is having a negative effect on the kids. This is helping alot, all these years I've clung on more for their sake than for my own, now I really do think they'd be better off without a negative, moody, grumpy, unpredictable, distant father around them. They will probably be better off having a weekend dad who has to focus on them because he has to do it on his own.
His current version of giving up drinking is to moderate the level. He is having about three drinks an evening. It does seem to be helping his mood somewhat. I don't want to get distracted by that. It's all up to him what he does or does not do what I have to do is keep going to al-anon and slowly claw back my self-esteem and my sanity.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
