Things are going really great on the surface in my M.
H is playful and does thoughtful little things for me, has spent some nice family time with me and the kiddos...and for Christmas, he surprised me with my "missing" wedding ring, re-set with a new diamond. It's just gorgeous, and I'm so glad to have it back. It was kind of like a dream.
Under the surface, I'm still fighting some nagging worries...what if the diamond is a "pay-off", who might be calling/emailing/texting him, are we slipping back into old territory now that things seem to have settled down? He still spends most of his evenings away from us...working on the all-important custom horsepower projects. Guys need their time, I know, but is 5-6 nights a week a little much?
I've been thinking a lot about the faith thing, and I believe more than ever that my answers lie there. H's repentance and conversion won't happen through me. They'll happen through the Savior, and I need to trust that.
I guess I still feel confused as to what my role is in the whole thing: Am I here to show love/understanding/compassion/encouragement? Or am I going down the same old cheeseless tunnel and allowing him to take everything he can get without real consequences from me? Should consequences come from me? What's my place in this?
