You're right. But if it doesn't work and he distances you have to weigh that. It may help to have the court mediator tell him...it may not.
Your instincts are good...it just all sucks.
One thought you might want to try sometime...Michele's daughter Danielle is a therapist who works with children of divorcing parents...and I think she's out of the DB center. They may have some resources or references available.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001