Jen, What you need to do probably is make a list of all your assets and accounts(joint and individual). You can try to come up with a way of dividing things equally. Of course do this first without letting him know. You could probably agree that you won't touch his retirement if he doesn't touch yours.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
