Willing to be disturbed...

[ediemarie]

Hi! Thanks for sending this my way. I read this awhile ago too. It's a good reminder.

I think for you, b/c it has been so long, you both have built it up so much that it is a very big deal, and you are both very nervous about it

Yup. I'm waiting for prom night. lol!

We actually are very affectionate towards each other. We kiss, hug, cuddle, and both really enjoy it. Our communication is pretty good. Although, I can always use help with listening more. That is a huge focus of mine - to listen without commenting. I need to get back to doing that.

I do see sex as a huge hurdle and I guess it's b/c H stopped pursuing me once OW was in the picture - he didn't want to cheat on her - sick, I know. And like I said, aside from a few flirty moves I don't pursue him. I don't want to create a power struggle - me wanting, pushing him, and him walking away. I try to give him as much distance as possible. Perhaps when I'm truly ready, I should 180 this. I'm not truly ready. I don't think H is either. Just a little over a month ago he was still struggling with fully committing to our M. While I can see him making progress, I don't believe he is fully there yet. I'll just have to keep waiting...first weekend of February will be 24 months...wow! 24 months.

Thanks for the encouragement!