Start of real Separation

[soul_mate]

Well I am really at a place where I am not sure what path I should take. I am still really hurt over my entire situation although the pain is less than it was months ago.

Went to the dinner and play with W and she seemed in a really poor mood and started in on me about I need to pay her more money (She knows I have no more to give) we need to sell the house so we can get a D. Well after her starting in on this we didn't have a really nice conversation. She again said things at dinner about how it is over and what I should have done to keep her. By the time dinner was over we were getting along better and at the play we actually had a good time and didn't discuss the R at all. So the night didn't really go as I would have liked, but it was not a complete bust.

I am still really confused she says things like how bad it will hurt her when I get someone else and me and her take the kids on trips and things like that. What can I say to her this is what she wants not me. She says things like this is not how I wanted things to turn out I wanted to have a family with you, etc. Again if you don't want things to turn out this way then do something about it. I am starting to just want to stop trying to understand her, because I don't think I ever will.

I really could use some input on the follwoing!!

Here is where I am today. She wants to pursue other men although it doesn't seem like a big priority right now she still wants to do this. She wants to get a D after we sell our house, but is not in a hurry and has not pursued anything. She wants me to be there as the family man and for us to continue to do things as a family. She wants to be my good friend. She wants to move back to where our family is from, but not as a couple. She has told me things like whatever guy she is with will have to accept that me and her and the kids will still do things as a family and whoever the OM is will have to accept this or he can leave. By her saying this part of me thinks that well I should continue to be close to her and do these family things in the end it will eventually push any OM out of the picture. I mean what man in their right mind would accept this.

My other though is going dark since being her friend and family man does not seem to be getting me any closer to my goal. So the past 3 days I have been attempting to go dark. She makes this really difficult she has been calling me, texting me, e-mailing me constantly. I have been pretty much ignoring her, but I have responded atleast once a day to some of her calls or texts. None of her calls have been about the kids so its not like I am neglecting them. Yesterday she called atlest 20 times after I finally return her call she tells me there is a cheap Disney cruise she would like us all to go on. By the way we both are broke and she wants a D. I mean this is crazy. As I am writing this she just sent me a text wanting to go to lunch I just nicely declined. I am still trying the going dark approach and will continue for atlest 2 weeks. Man this is hard.