I like the gym idea too. I have nights when he coes home (rarely at a given time and I don't know if he's eaten or not) and the kids are fed that I just go out for awhile (yes, he still lives here). If I had a gym membership I'd take that up in a heartbeat. Do it and enjoy yourself.
Lets see, your name implies WIFE in ever aspect. But your actions are contradicting everything. You have not been here very long and yet you have quite simply told your husband to leave, you are contemplating dating, you are snooping, checking his CC and cell phones. You are guilting him into doing things that he probably cannot handle right now. The only thing I see you accomplishing is shoving him out the door and out of your life completely.
Tell me just what have you learned here?
Compassion? Understanding?
What are your goals? What do you want the outcome of this to be?
What message do you think you are sending to your husband?
Hugs
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
I deserved that. And trust me I have been doing a LOT of thinking. Especially about what Jack had to say. He is absolutely right, I can see myself falling for this guy. He is everything I want and the tempatation is too great. I am telling him today that we have to stop-we're getting too close. I see that now. Spending time talking with him has helped me to step away from my situation but I can see that our relationship is starting to change and we are caring TOO much for each other. I am married and want to stay that way so I don't need anyhing else to get in the way of that.
However, my H has made some changes since I "set him free" in a positive way, so at the present time I am still glad I did it. I did it on Christmas and he left in tears. He came the next day, upbeat and full of fun for the most part. Then yesterday he came to stay at the house with the kids while I went to work. They played games, he helped our D11 with school project and as he was leaving he told me where he was going (to his friends house which is close by-I'm friends with wife also). This is something that he hasn't done in a long time.(tell me where he is going)
This morning I pulled out Michele's book and re-read several parts.The part about cheerleading struck me (pg 104 of DR). While my H was here yesterday he paid bills. We went over the checkbook and he told me how much he left in it for groceries. I said thank you. After reading about Cheerleading I sent him an email this morning that said, "I thanked you for grocery money yesterday, but I also wanted to thank you for taking care of all of the bills. I appreciate it. Also, I wanted you to know that the kids have had a great time with you these last few days and they really love the attention that you give them. They love spending time with you. It's good to see."
Just now he sent an email back that said "You're welcome and I know you do." "I had a lot of fun too and if you can believe it, spending that time was good for me too and made me feel different in such a good way I can't explain, but I want to. It;s a little too deep and complex of a thought for this moment so I'll save it for another time. I do know that it felt good to feel like a kid again and I love being around those kids too."
So, Jeanette, I am learning, sometimes I just need a kick in the A@@ every once in a while.
Much appreciated!!
Gin
Me:45 H: 45 M: 14 yrs T: 16 yrs D's: 7/11 Bomb: June '07 Moved out: Sept.'07
I'm glad you did not take that the wrong way. Sometimes we DO NEED TO SEE things as an outsider see's them.
Quote:
However, my H has made some changes since I "set him free" in a positive way, so at the present time I am still glad I did it. I did it on Christmas and he left in tears. He came the next day, upbeat and full of fun for the most part. Then yesterday he came to stay at the house with the kids while I went to work. They played games, he helped our D11 with school project and as he was leaving he told me where he was going (to his friends house which is close by-I'm friends with wife also). This is something that he hasn't done in a long time.(tell me where he is going)
Ok, so thats a positive. But now you have to stick to what you told him. Right? You let him go. So any contact you have with him should stay in line with your words. It would be much worse for him to return out of guilt rather than want.
Quote:
He is everything I want and the tempatation is too great.
No! He is everything you THINK you want. You are easy prey for him. Thats it. It's the temporary high you feel when you've been rejected and you are searching for that "FIX" to ease the pain. Won't work!
You sound so vibrant and full of life! Let's put all this energy into positives!!
Your welcome Gin! Anytime you need a kick in the asss, let me know, it will save me from kicking the X in the assss
Hugs sweetie
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
I want a positive sign with each encounter with him but I should know better. He was just here to pick up the kids for an overnight visit and it was business as usual. No kind words, no smiles, nothing. I tried to make myself busy in the house while the kids ran around the house "getting one more thing to bring to Dads".
UUGH!
This is so frustrating. After the positive emails this morning I was hoping for something. Throw me a bone, man!!! I'm dying here!
Me:45 H: 45 M: 14 yrs T: 16 yrs D's: 7/11 Bomb: June '07 Moved out: Sept.'07
