Hi Cat, Just got caught up on you. So much has happened on your roller coaster! I just want to comment on your bringing the good man back for the kids' sake. I don't know if you remember my sitch or not, but this is what we went through. H got to such a low spot he needed help to get to a stable place. No way was I going to allow my kids' father deal with his emotional breakdown alone, no matter how much he hurt me. He stayed with me in a separate room for awhile until I knew he was going to be all right. We separated for a year because of all that happened, our R was too toxic for both of us. We needed the time and space. He spent most of his time alone and feeling bad for all that he'd done and lost. This was best though because I didn't have to deal with all the emotions he processed coming out of his depression. Along the way he didn't forget who helped him and loved him when he was in crisis. His feelings of friendship and love returned for me and he got a good taste of life without his family. Since we've reconciled things have gotten better. H is back and actually a better man that he was before. His feelings of love are back too. He described how he felt during his crisis. he said he knew that he "should" love me and that those feelings were there, he was just unable to feel them. Once he was treated for his depression and back in touch/able to deal with his emotions his brain could access all the feelings that he thought were gone. Umm.. including anger, but that's another chapter
