I deserved that. And trust me I have been doing a LOT of thinking. Especially about what Jack had to say. He is absolutely right, I can see myself falling for this guy. He is everything I want and the tempatation is too great. I am telling him today that we have to stop-we're getting too close. I see that now. Spending time talking with him has helped me to step away from my situation but I can see that our relationship is starting to change and we are caring TOO much for each other. I am married and want to stay that way so I don't need anyhing else to get in the way of that.
However, my H has made some changes since I "set him free" in a positive way, so at the present time I am still glad I did it. I did it on Christmas and he left in tears. He came the next day, upbeat and full of fun for the most part. Then yesterday he came to stay at the house with the kids while I went to work. They played games, he helped our D11 with school project and as he was leaving he told me where he was going (to his friends house which is close by-I'm friends with wife also). This is something that he hasn't done in a long time.(tell me where he is going)
This morning I pulled out Michele's book and re-read several parts.The part about cheerleading struck me (pg 104 of DR). While my H was here yesterday he paid bills. We went over the checkbook and he told me how much he left in it for groceries. I said thank you. After reading about Cheerleading I sent him an email this morning that said, "I thanked you for grocery money yesterday, but I also wanted to thank you for taking care of all of the bills. I appreciate it. Also, I wanted you to know that the kids have had a great time with you these last few days and they really love the attention that you give them. They love spending time with you. It's good to see."
Just now he sent an email back that said "You're welcome and I know you do." "I had a lot of fun too and if you can believe it, spending that time was good for me too and made me feel different in such a good way I can't explain, but I want to. It;s a little too deep and complex of a thought for this moment so I'll save it for another time. I do know that it felt good to feel like a kid again and I love being around those kids too."
So, Jeanette, I am learning, sometimes I just need a kick in the A@@ every once in a while.
Much appreciated!!
Gin
Me:45 H: 45 M: 14 yrs T: 16 yrs D's: 7/11 Bomb: June '07 Moved out: Sept.'07
