well, like I said...its not over yet but I think W 'hopped over to my side of the fence', at least for now
I hope she decides to stay here. (anybody got any neon green paint for the grass?)
OOps- I take that back. The paint will last for awhile but eventually the grass will turn brown. I need to get some good fertilizer and a sprinkler system.
Last edited by jab; 12/24/0703:33 AM.
_________________________ Me: 38 W: 36 R 16 M 12 2 kids: S6, D4 Bomb: 10/22/07 Sep: 12/11/07 My First Thread, My Story
Congratulations, Alleleuia! This is no small victory my friend, this is huge. There is something very special about you, and very special about your W to have changed the course of destruction in such a short time period. Yes you still have much work to do, but relish in the victory while you can, and be ever vigilant of evil, temptation, etc. I'm praying a prayer of thanks as we speak. You don't know the hardship you and your kids could have endured. Bravo! my brother, well done!!!
You made some very right decisions, controlled YOUR actions, YOUR behaivior, YOUR words. You allowed your W to be who she wanted to be, feel how she wanted to feel, and do what she wanted to do. That was one of the scariest steps you've taken, but that unconditional love 1C13, will take your M to the pinnacle. Keep up the good work.
Stay off the liquid spirits and bring in the Holy Spirit. I think your W is most impressed that you recognize your failings, and are willing to take the steps necessary to change. You are a good MAN, one whom I admire very much. What a gift you have been given, and what a gift we have recieved.
God Bless the Struggle! Merry Christmas!
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
Congratulations Jab. I am so happy for you. Hearing something like this makes me have hope that my changes will be noticed and if I can get to the point of forgetting about OM and continue not drinking I might be able to make this work.
M: 30 W: 29 D: 4 S: 2 M: 7 years Dropped bomb: 11/26/07 My sitch
I'm still here. W was gone all week. I was here by myself & worked. I can say that things aren't as 'peachy' as they sounded last weekend.
I am concerned, too. I believe W hopped back 'on the fence'. I figured this is normal & was anticipating it a little. She does say she still wants to work on our R\M but she thinks she jumped in a little too far, too quickly. I don't want that to happen because there are issues that need resolved on both sides.
W comes in tonight so I'll see how it goes. I think things are still going well, though. 2 steps forward + 1 step backward = 1 step forward. I just have to be careful not to pressure her, listen, validate, be the MAN I am, consistent, strong & patient. I will pray now.
_________________________ Me: 38 W: 36 R 16 M 12 2 kids: S6, D4 Bomb: 10/22/07 Sep: 12/11/07 My First Thread, My Story
Things went very well this weekend. IMHO W really wants me back but there is still a trust/fear issue. I think W just wants to take it slow, I'm ok with that but things seem to be moving pretty quickly in a positive direction. Honestly, we are getting along together better than we have in quite some time (at least a year). There are alot of underlying issues that will eventually need to be resolved, though. The good things are that W really wants to spend her time with me, W thinks now she made a mistake with me moving out and wants to work on our R/M. Bad things are the trust/fear issues, W feeling guilty about 'kicking me out' (I told her how else would we have realized what we do now without me moving out). I sympathized, validated, listened to her every time the issues came up. I do notice that alot of the discussions are 'we' now and not 'I' or 'you'.
There isn't alot else to say at the moment. I am just trying to be patient and continue doing what I am doing because it seems to be working. I think if things continue the way they are going, I will have to move my thread to another forum that is more appropriate (piecing?). I really think we need MC but still not bringing it up right now, I'm waiting for W to initiate that, I'm just doing what I need to do for now & letting things happen.
_________________________ Me: 38 W: 36 R 16 M 12 2 kids: S6, D4 Bomb: 10/22/07 Sep: 12/11/07 My First Thread, My Story