I've only just caught up on your thread. I'm so sorry to hear you are going through all this, but it sounds to me that you are at peace with the idea that it is over. Which is pretty much where I am too. Being at peace with that idea is a good place to be.
I think it is a very hard thing to be the partner of someone who is going through the loss of a parent. It is going to be an especially difficult loss for him as she brought him up alone and as an only child. The "crawled out from under a rock" look is hard to bear (I know I've seen it too). But your needs for closeness and affection are a distraction from what he's going through right now. He probably feels guilty about that. And like my H the guilt gets turned round into an injury YOU have caused HIM. Your presence = guilt. Guilt = painful feeling. You = pain. If you see what I mean.
You and I (and I guess many others) have a big problem with abandonment and tend to cling just for the sake of being with SOMEONE rather than no-one. Don't you think? Time to recognise that about ourselves and next time that feeling creeps over us try to step back from it and look at the guy in a more detached way. Then swallow hard and move on.
(((Lil)))
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
