You are getting good advice here. There are a lot of weird things that happen to people that can change a R when the ring is on, or when the first child is born. Suddenly the R changes from a R between two friends to a replica of the parents M. Since each partner had different parents there is usually a mismatch of expectations. Sometimes it is a small mismatch and sometimes it is rather a big mismatch. My H suddenly decided (when our son was born) that I was to turn into a replica of his mum. Now my MIL is a lovely person but two more different people than she and I you couldn't hope to meet. I was sitting listening to her talking about this and that while she was here for the holidays and thinking to myself "what planet does this woman inhabit" and "I wonder what it must be like to have a mind that works that way".
So your W doesnt' want sex with you because all kinds of childhood crap that she's probably not even conscious of has raised it's ugly head the second the ring went on the finger. You have two choices.
1. Run
2. Tell her you will run in exactly 6 months' time unless SHE sorts this problem out.
I put SHE in caps because it is important that you don't buy into her "well if you did ____" crap. If she starts that up you just say "No, things were fine and then YOU changed. If you want to stay married it's up to YOU to figure out why you changed and deal with it". Then don't mention sex again.
BTW I think there is a chance there is a problem with alcholism in her family.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
