Thoughts anyone because I am getting frustrated about all this.
Wife wanted to talk to me when I phoned D13 tonight. Spoke about different things happening in our lives, chit chat really but what I want to put out there is this;
Wife had auto accident in her/our paid off Mini Van and OM had it covered on his insurance. He haggled to get the best settlement he could and said that he would sort out another car for her. Well this has been quite a while and no car. He made excuse that it would not be enough and he would have to get a loan to top it up.
Well apparently he spent some of the insurance money and did not tell my WAW because he 'screwed up' something. He also said that his credit score was not good enough to get a loan or something and now he has spent all of the money. WAW said that she can not get a car for 2-3 months!!
I asked her how she felt about this and she said "betrayed and upset" WTF! she has been with him for nearly 5 months (me 19 years and I have not and would never do such a thing) and she is still with him. She said if it happened again, she would have to seriously consider staying with him. Is n't the first time enough.
She says that she hates being without a car and I know her, shes does. I said that all she will do is be at home or at work (she works in OM's store) and will have to rely on OM for lifts and he will have to take/pick up kids for school. WAW said he is so busy, he really can not afford the time to do this. TO BAD IT HIS FAULT SO HE WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT.
BTW she asked me not to tell her parents or the children about this. So she is happy to cover for him!!
I asked her whether she thought that this was a good foundation for an R. She replied "no"
The reason for this thread is to ask;
1) Does she hate me that much that this screw up by OM is fine and dandy after 5 months of their R that she can forgive him? I think that spending her money for a car and not telling her totally what was going on is unforgiveable.
2) The old, old question - Do you think that there is now some chink in the armour so to speak in their R? (if I was WAW, I think that the armour would have been blown apart but I am not a WAS and I think clearly).
3) Following on from number 2, could there be some hope for me?
I validated what she said, I said that I am here for her if she needed me, If I had the finances, I would help her with a car. I said that I cared and wanted her to talk to me if needed to, etc.
I thought I was pretty detached and spoke to her in an upbeat manner and said that I did not want to get into anything heavy about how I felt about what OM did (although I am personally f**ked off about it).
She said she was proud of me how I am dealing with the sitch since the bomb.
I also told her how I felt about her not coming out to see me Xmas day when I picked up the kids. I thought she could have after 19 years being together and this being our first one apart. She said that she was uncertain on whether to approach me or not (guilt?).
She said that Xmas was ok for her and kids had a good time. OM was sick and spent alot of it in bed.
