First post

[mrarow]

Tiring to have faith and think positive but still tends to be very dificult. I think she may have something up her sleeve and is going to drop the I am moving out bomb when she comes back with the girls from Colorado Jan 3 to 8th but for all I know she may come back and say she wants to try? This is so hard. I will be totally alone with lots of time to think. I was looking forward to going but she said she wanted me to stay home so she and the girls could go alone. I just agreed and say I need to stay here and work so the bills get paid anyway and that it will do her good to have a trip with just the girls. She has never done that before. I will miss them and the house will seem very quiet without all of them around. Have no plans for New Years and I don't think she's going to want to go anywhere with me. I am waiting to see what she suggests if anything. We cleaned the house together today but I ended up putting on music to make her think and she ended up crying most of the time she cleaned. She won't talk much about it. W said something about my D-17 not being very happy with her and blaming her for wrecking the family. Not sure all the details...W left to hang out with her girlfriend for the afternoon as far as I know. She did not come home till after midnight last night as well. Was told she went to pub with the girls after her walk at the park. Told me her and her girlfriends are going dancing Saturday Night. My first reaction was to complain I have been wanting to go dancing for months and I am being left out again. Then woke up a few seconds later and told her sorry I just feel leftout and that its fine for her to have another night out with just the girls if that's what she wants and that I am sorry for being so needy. Not feeling very happy today and very left out of my partners life lately. This R really sucks at times!!