I'm so frustrated!! I don't know what I want, or where I'm supposed to go from here. If anyone's been reading my posts, my h treats me like crap. He got me nothing for Christmas, berates me ALL the time, calls me names, and puts me down in front of the children. I can NEVER do anything right in his eyes (house is not clean enough, budget not done, kids not quiet). I work full-time and do EVERYTHING in the house as well as the kid stuff (even before he moved out).
Here's where I'm going with this...
H says he wants to work on things. I would LOVE to have my old h back. H says I don't respect him. How could I based on the above? So, he tells me to trust him, trust his faith in God, and follow his lead. Specifically, he wants to move to TN. I DON'T want to go. I don't want to leave my ENTIRE family and support system. I'm not being submissive.
I hate that word! I don't want to be submissive to someone who treats me like crap! I don't want to be submissive to someone who doesn't respect me, help me, or EVEN act as if he loves me. But, am I supposed to? Biblically? And HOW can I??
He says my pride is getting in the way or our reconciling. I don't apoligize when I hurt his feelings. Honestly, I hardly feel bad for hurting his feelings every now and then. It will never add up to the measure of hurt he causes me daily...
He has a HUGE list of things he wants from me. He's super controlling! And, when I begin to tell him what I want from him, he stops me and tells me that he'll work on himself, and I need to follow him.
I don't know what to do. I want so much for my kids to have an intact home, I just don't like the man my h has become, and he won't even listen to MY desires.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Your husband hasn't earned the gift of your submission because he hasn't earned your respect. The issue here is not your pride but rather his arrogance.
In my opinion, your H is carefully picking and choosing the bible teachings he wants to, and ignoring a good bit of the rest. Don't let him get away with that. What happened to love, cherish and respect? I hope someone that can quote 'chapter and verse' so to speak, but don't let him use the 'submission' thing against you.
Have him put this in his pipe and smoke it! (cut and paste from a Christian website.)
Although women should submit to their husbands, the Bible also tells men several times how they are supposed to treat their wives. The husband is not to take on the role of the dictator, but show respect for his wife and her opinions as well. “In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife. No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it...” (Ephesians 5:28-29). “So I say again, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). “You wives must submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord. And you husbands must love your wives and never treat them harshly” (Colossians 3:18-19). “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat her with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. If you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard” (1 Peter 3:7).
It is no wonder that you aren't trusting him; he is not treating YOU with the respect he should and considering you and EQUAL partner.
Last edited by Trixi; 12/27/0710:19 PM.
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
My H grew up in an "intact" home... with a psycho father who humiliated and beat his mother him and sister. Sure he showed up to basketball games and sat at church next to them, he also had mental issues and took it on the kids, was very abusive, screwed up my H's life and most likely that's why I'm here. I can't imagen how your H treats your children, or how will he in the future, because the way he treats you is inhuman and cruel, a way I wouldn't even treat my worse enemy. During a breakdown my H called his mother and grilled her as to why she put up with so much abuse and didn't she just leave him, how better off everyone would've been.
He is messing with your head, he is putting all the blame on you so he doesn't have to change one iota. You are better off alone at this point, until, if, your H realizes what a manipulative jerk he is being.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
