submission and my pride - I need a swift kick!

[ms ladybug]

I'm so frustrated!!
I don't know what I want, or where I'm supposed to go from here. If anyone's been reading my posts, my h treats me like crap. He got me nothing for Christmas, berates me ALL the time, calls me names, and puts me down in front of the children. I can NEVER do anything right in his eyes (house is not clean enough, budget not done, kids not quiet). I work full-time and do EVERYTHING in the house as well as the kid stuff (even before he moved out).

Here's where I'm going with this...

H says he wants to work on things. I would LOVE to have my old h back. H says I don't respect him. How could I based on the above? So, he tells me to trust him, trust his faith in God, and follow his lead. Specifically, he wants to move to TN. I DON'T want to go. I don't want to leave my ENTIRE family and support system. I'm not being submissive.

I hate that word! I don't want to be submissive to someone who treats me like crap! I don't want to be submissive to someone who doesn't respect me, help me, or EVEN act as if he loves me.
But, am I supposed to? Biblically? And HOW can I??

He says my pride is getting in the way or our reconciling. I don't apoligize when I hurt his feelings. Honestly, I hardly feel bad for hurting his feelings every now and then. It will never add up to the measure of hurt he causes me daily...

He has a HUGE list of things he wants from me. He's super controlling! And, when I begin to tell him what I want from him, he stops me and tells me that he'll work on himself, and I need to follow him.

I don't know what to do. I want so much for my kids to have an intact home, I just don't like the man my h has become, and he won't even listen to MY desires.