I am a success story, but I didn't do it by DBing. I did it by confronting and being direct. We were not separated. He was having his little affair and thinking he was getting away with it. I printed the cell phone bill and confronted him with it. I demanded that he stop the affair. He lied for a day, but the next day he admitted it and got a little more truthful. It didn't stop the affair right away. Two weeks later, when I saw that they were still talking daily, I gave my S24 the phone number and he called her. He told her he knew she was having an affair with his father and if she didn't stop it, he would come out there (to the west coast) and make her stop. She called my H and broke up with him that day. After that we still had trouble, but he no longer had the fantasy that he had somewhere else to go. So he was willing to try to work on the marriage. We went to Retrouvaille, a weekend marital retreat, http://www.helpourmarriage.org, and had a very good result to the weekend of working on the marriage. We continued with the Retrouvaille program, and we were changed. I don't think either of us will have an affair again, because now we understand how much pain they cause for everyone -- the person having the affair, the spouse, and the children. Oh yeah, and he was concerned about OW's pain too. Not that I cared.
