Thought I’d post an update. I’ve got a small thread in Piecing, but still feel much more at home here.
Things are going GREAT! FW and I had a terrific Christmas together. I was so very worried about my parents and how they would react since my dad had said he was never welcome in his house again and thing went well there as well.
H walked into my parents house on Christmas Eve (he was invited) and went straight to my mom and dad and apologized for all the hurt he had put them and me and everyone else through. That he was wrong and had no excuses. My dad said he was glad to hear H say that. The day went great and I don’t think anyone felt uncomfortable at all (at least I didn’t and FW didn’t)
His birthday was yesterday and we spent a great day together then as well. We went shopping together without the kiddos and spent some good time together when we got home last night since they are staying with his parents until Jan. 1.
We leave this afternoon for a much needed vacation without the kids and will return Jan. 1. I’m very excited to be getting away with him for a few days and so is he.
FW moved all his stuff back home last week. He said that it felt good to get stuff out of the apartment and back home where he belongs. He is glad that things are getting back to “normal”.
I worry when he says things are “normal” because for so long “normal” wasn’t good enough for him with us, but he assures me that “normal” is good. He was so tired of all the drama and all the sneaking and stress etc etc. that normal is what he really needs right now.
We are talking and being open with one another and getting along great and even though things are “normal” things are also so different in so many good ways. We have both changed tremendously in our time away from each other. It’s almost like getting to know each other all over again, but still having the familiarity that is so comfortable.
Sex is still incredible which is important to both of us now. I never knew how much so until all this broke loose over a year ago and I had a few earth shattering realization about myself that served to change a lot of my hangups.
We are still working each day and will continue to do so for the rest of our lives. Marriages are not easy and we both realize that now. I think we (at least I) just expected the other to always be there no matter what.
We both continue to pray daily and to put God first in our relationship. Thanks so much for all the support that I have gotten here in the last few months. It’s been tremendous and has helped me get to a place in my life where I knew I would be fine if the outcome of this situation hadn’t been as good as it is. I’ll be lurking around and popping in here and there. I’ll try to keep you updated on our progress. I know I always loved reading the good news stories from those whose spouses had returned.
Have a great New Year and God Bless.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
We did have a wonderful time. Things are going well for us right now.
One of the good things that is so different this time is that H has not looked back at his A with OW. He is not depressed anymore and seems to be doing really really well.
I get more and more comfortable with him every day. For a while I felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, worried that he was going to leave again. That feeling is diminishing quickly and is almost nonexistent now. It's a great feeling to have.
We both keep praying and focusing on things that are important right now like family and God.
I'll update as I get chances to. Hope everyone had a wonderful New Year and Christmas holiday (or Hannukah).
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
I am so happy to hear that things are going so well !!! It is a joy to have you two back together ! I have found that I have not got your level of patience and compassion...I had an outburst with H yesterday. I told him how useless he feels to me now, that I do not even want to rely on him, because others have helped me MUCH more...anyway, I kind of told him he could go ahead and sign the papers...that it was my new year's present to him, and my own new year's resolution (ouch !)....damage is done, he is once again angry and sulking around me...he does not speak to me if not nescessary, I can just feel him thinking....'here we go again....NOW she doesn't want to have contact anymore...HOW OFTEN will this keep hapening, WHEN will we just be able to be friends and civil to each other...???'
I just can't do it....it's still so very painful...and when he's not in my life, I prosper and LIVE...but he is this huge disturbance....haze...that shakes me and the kids up everytime he comes over and is his JOLLY self !
Oh boy....I hope I haven't disappointed you with all of this. Who knows what will happen next...I have had some GREAT support and very INSIGHTFUL posts about this on my thread.
I will keep in touch ! xxxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
