only thing is.....my stuff is good stuff... That is what I told BB! I even sold $250 of my stuff last week and another $125 this week. BB said it is all junk and wants me to throw it away like she did.
Sandi, Lil, LOU, who somehow have too much stuff on their property.
Never a bounced check or a utility turned off. All taxes paid on time. I was womdering about ME, guess I can relax a little.
Sandi what do you think causes your H to collect things?
In my case, I never had much and repaired everything till I couldn't. When money becane less of a problem and I bought more things, it was a difficult habit to dispose of things I used to keep running/using so we hade money for everyday bills.
I don't know Lou why he is the way he is. I think a lot of it was how his parents raised him. I remember they had a lot of junk in their back porch, yard and garage, but I thought it was b/c their were relatives that had come to stay with them until they could get into their own place. I don't know that that had anything to do with it, I just remember it was very crowed and a lot of junk put back.
He got to going to old pawn shops and garage sales and things like that.....I don't know why, but it got to be almost a daily thing. He also went to the little dollar stores in town just kind of looking around. So I see it as something like a bad habit or some type of addiction. Kind of like some women and their shopping addiction, only his stuff is more junk. He doesn't usually buy expensive things....except for that boat that didn't run. (ugh!)
I am really worried now. We have one more day and he has done nothing. He doesn't know what to do about the vehicles. Also, he has done nothing to prepare for filing income taxes or paid the personal taxes. I am trying to leave this all up to him b/c I feel like this is more his "business" than mine since he is in charge of the vehicles and he always takes care of the taxes, etc.
I feel like I am hanging by a thread. I feel humilated and hurt that somebody in our neighorhood would wait until the weekend of Christmas for us to be served with these papers to have seven days to do something about it. I think I know who did it, but I'm not sure. It doesn't really matter who did it.....it's done and we are in a terrible fix now. Don't know where to put the vehicles or what to do about them. My H has to work when a job come available, so he hasn't had time to do anything. I know it is worrying him, but he doesn't talk about it like I have to.
I know this is a small problem compared to what most of you are going through right now. I appreciate your concerned. Sometime I feel like you all are the only friends I have anymore.
I think a friend is somebody you can turn yourself inside out so they can see all the ugly inside of you and yet they still love you and care about you. I have sure let you all see the ugly in me! And for some reason you have stuck by me and I appreciate it so much.
I have been up all night, so I need to go try to sleep a little bit. Take care.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Lillieperl, in response to your question about what am I going to do about this situation......I clearly do not know! He is a good man and I know many women would kill to have a H like him! He does not abuse me an in any way, etc.
We have some friends who live two houses down and their place looks like something out of a magazine. They have the same style house as ours, but you would never know it to look at it. They keep everything spotless and their yard looks beautiful all the time. It is so embarrasing when they come to our house. The peole next to us and in front of us.....they all have neat yards and homes. So, like I said, I can't blame them for reporting us, but it hurt that it was done right at Christmastime when we don't have time to do anything, plus the weather has been really bad, so I just don't know what is going to happen. I'm just tired of it.
Got to get in bed....been up all night. Talk to you later.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi, as long as you live with this man, your house is never going to look like House & Garden. Can you accept that? Can you live with that without making yourself nuts?
The matter of taxes is something else. If you are liable or in any way legally responsible, you must take some action to protect yourself.
You can also opt to file seperately making him responsible for his own income taxes...
As for the house...well it took my mom years but my dad has gotten rid of a lot of the crap he collected...he is now 77 years old...it has only been the last 5 years that he has really gotten things cleared out...they can actually park a car in the garage...my entire life growing up I never saw this!
He got to going to old pawn shops and garage sales and things like that.....I don't know why, but it got to be almost a daily thing. He also went to the little dollar stores in town just kind of looking around.
I can relate to that Sandi. For a while, that was what I could afford when I had my major back problems.
I have too much stuff and weed it out in stages.
Junk goes now. Might be junk is in the get ready pile. Good but not used much is in the consider get rid of pile. The better stuff give away or sell. The good sellable items are up for sale. BB's 4 dogs and 3 cats :muffled sound:
About taxes, how about an accounf/kitty/slush fund where you put some money in every month, so when the tax is due, the money is there?
Lou (the too much stuff guy but I do pre pay my cable TV for a year, one month free. I also prepay my cell phone for the year)
Well, I can't divorce him just b/c he brings home junk.....even if I want to sometimes! The tax situation.....I don't know what to do. If we file seperately, we really pay through the nose. I think I'll see about a short form since it is so late and he hasn't gotten started on the paper work. Last year when our DIL figured up the short form, it was way too much to pay in, so we had to go the long way. She was up practically up all night getting it prepared in time to mail.
I have talked and talked to him about the seriousness of the tax filing, but he seems to stick his head in the sand and doesn't want to think about it. At least that is the way it appears to me, b/c he doesn't talk to me or let on that he is thinking about it and I don't see any action--so that is the way it looks.
I was told that we might get an extension from the city about the yard, so he called and they gave us another week. So, say a prayer that we can figure out what to do with the vehicles. My D is going to talk to the GS about the dog. It's just that right now the weather is really bad and having to get the tax stuff ready....it all hits at once. That's life, isn't it!
But I remember in years past that other things hit us around this time that was a lot more serious than what we are facing now. We CAN do something about this.....what we faced back then was nothing we could do anything about.
I went to the doctor today and he uped my Zoloft to 150 mg. I have gained about 15 pounds in the two months I've been on it and he said we could try something else, but I've tried so many that never worked. I told him I would give it one more month on this higher dosage and if I could still tell no difference at all, then I would stop taking it. My former SIL took 300 mg of it and he got fat as a pig. As soon as he got off of it, he lost down to his normal size again. I don't want to get bigger, but I sure want to feel better....I am so tired of feeling like this all the time. Maybe if I can watch what I eat and try to exercise more, it won't be too bad. I did real good through the holiday meals.....until last night when I finished off a huge piece of pie!
imLin, thanks for your incouragement! My Dad always believed a person could change, so let's pray my H and I both will change for the better this next year. Lillieperl, I don't keep a spotless house by no means and I get real behind in my work when I'm down with the Fibro mess.....and guess what? I get very depressed about it too. So, it's not just my H's stuff, it's my own mess that I get stressed over.
This has been kind of odd to me that so many of you have responded to this stitch in my life when things had almost come to a stop before. You guys and gals are the best! Thanks again.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi2 - have you tried Effexor? because one of the side effects is a loss of appetite/weight
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
I don't know what to do. If we file separately, we really pay through the nose. I think I'll see about a short form since it is so late and he hasn't gotten started on the paper work.
What year's taxes are you talking about? The 2006 extension was due Oct 15 2007.
The junk in the yard notice was probably started last Oct. or Nov., then the city had to investigate, then the investigation might have been reviewed, so I don't think anyone ratted on you just before Christmas.
Does your H like to go to church? If so take a collection at home before going to church. collect the receipts and stubs you need for the tax work and a $$$ collection to put in your taxes due fund.
If you want me to become ordained so I can advise your H, I will buy a ministers diploma from one of those diploma mills.
I stand 6’3” and weigh 265. I am 64 and can be nice or kick butt Do you think I could get through to him???
No, I haven't tried Effexor. When I told the doctor about my 15 pound gain in two months, he named off some more AD but said that Welbutrin was the only one that didn't have weight gain side effects. I have been on Welbutrin before combined with Lexapro, but I couldn't tell it helpled. But, if I can't get any relief from this, I will ask him to let me try the Effexor. I think that is what my H takes (but by a generic name). He hasn't gained any weight, just stays about the same. I am really concerned about gaining so much so quickly and I really have watched to be sure I wasn't over eating or snacking. I really haven't had that much of an appetite.....that is what is amazing. So, it has to be the AD that is putting it on.
Thanks for the advice, b/c I will try it if this doesn't help. I'm giving it one more month.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Do you think I could get through to him??? 