He's a drunk AmyC. All the kings horses can't put HIM back together, you're right about that. He's a drunk, he's an abuser, and he's in denial about the whole thing. He will attack you, judge you, criticize you, do anything he can to intimidate you into continuing to enable his lousy behaivior.
You don't need someone like that in your life AmyC. You can say all you want about how YOU destroyed your M, but that man's drinking is destroying lives. His drinking is the most destructive force you have faced. It is evil.
I encourage you to find Alanon. It won't cost you a dime, but you will learn how to deal with addicts. It's okay to continue to love(1C:13) him, but it's not okay to keep hoping he'll sober up. You are absolutely on the right track so don't go cracking up. You're in a battle here. You're gonna get your ass kicked around some, but this is life and death here. So I'm behind you all the way. You don't have to be subject to his drunken crap anymore.
He'll blame you for his drinking, his bad health, his work, his parents, his kids, whatever. He'll lie, cheat, and steal, anything but give up his booze.
You've fought long and hard AmyC, but your man is not playing here. Love him, but do not enable him anymore. If your M works out then hurahhhh!!! If not, then YOU are free to move forward with YOUR life.
Be honest with your son. You know the real reason why your M isn't working. It's not what you did, it's what your H is doing now. He's an addict, a drunk. Don't hide that from your kid's. It's a valuable lesson they can learn. But don't do it in spite, inform them from a loving heart, not a vindictive heart.
My prayers are with you. Next year will be better.
Love,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
