well, all hell broke loose, it is over and done

[cat03]

hey hon! was just reading your thread a sec ago, lol, haven't had the strenght to read any others and I dont' think i'm in any shape to give advice. Happy b-lated bday by the way

In the book "i love a cop" it mentions how a cop will see in a few months , years worth of ugliness that a civilian would ever see during his/her lifetime. H gets called all sorts of names, deals with scum on the earth and I guess that also alters their view of life in general. About the lying, he actually told he MC yesterday "why do I lie so much" and the MC told him that that is what he has become comfortable with, that it is a short and instant fix and that he now needs to be aware and look at the results of his lies and where they have taken him.
My psychologist friend from church suggested he take St John's Worth, which has proven to help people with depression, so I'll get some this before the week is over.

We talked last night, calm talk, I had to ask some questions because at the MC --being the first one with the new MC-- we had to talk about everything that went on since he left, not much A nor ow talk. Supposedly they were just friends, he says he felt I was being unsupportive (which really REALLY made me mad because as you all know we put our M in the back burner for his career) and that EVERYtime we talked about work I'd get pissed off (not true, only once or twice after an argument I told him I didn't feel like talking about his job) and since ow and him had a connection he felt comfortable talking with her.

I had him admit that "friends" dont' go to each other's homes at midnight, specially if they r married, he caught himself before he finished the phrase "but with men is different..." and realized it was BS. Supposedly they just talked, though he admitted when he was breaking down last week that they did sleep together once. That he just needed to talk with someone and only had lunch a few times with her since october. He admitted it was an inappropiate friendship and I reminded him this already happened twice, his answer is "it was a bad idea" or "I was not thinking".
There are lots of inconsistencies with his story, and I dont' know how far to push it, if to wait for MC session next Friday or clear the water now so I don't wallow about those loose ends. He actually opened up and talked more at MC, no ackward long pauses, he asked questions.
I hate his lies, I know he is not really being 100% truthful, it did sound like they had some sort of R or a more intimate kind of "friendship", wish he'd just admitted to that instead of just saying he went to her for moral support.

He's shown so much weakness, he keeps panicking and doing stupid things instead of facing the consecuences. He has lost his way and ... I don't know, this could go either way. I have a lot of conflict in me, I know that if he wouldnt' have been truly sorry this time around I would've prob asked him to leave, but this isn't easy either.