I remember saying a while ago (I really don't want to think about how long it was) that alcohol might one thing in this situation that might prevent things from working. And you can't take care of that one for him. Though, forcing the issue may help to find out what his real priorities are. I wonder if he thought (subconsciously, most likely) that you wouldn't call him on it because he knows you want to reconcile?
I know this isn't what you wanted to do, but I also know that the safety of your kids comes above anything else. So, I don't think you have a lot of choice. The story isn't over yet, but you've put the ball in his court, where it has to be now. I hope it doesn't go ugly, but I know that you can handle it!
Amy, You know you don't know what you can handle until you have to do it! I know you don't WANT to handle it, but I know you can, for you daughter. And, really, for Jeff, too. But, I know it isn't fair that you get to be the one that has to pay the price.
Amy, if you ever need to vent, or just throw things, and don't want to do it on ere, feel free to email. I'm no treasure trove of good advice, but I'll listen to you yell, and try to help any way I can.
Momma moved out Daddy sold the house They split up the money And went on their way And all the kings horses And all the kings men Couldnt put mommy and daddy back together again
Chorus: Starting over again Where should they begin cause theyve never been out on their own Starting over again Where do you begin When your dreams are all shattered And the kids are all grown And the whole world cries
Got an apartment She moved in with her sisters He's scheming big deals with one of his friends While she sits at home Just sorting out pieces Of left over memories From thirty odd years
2nd chorus:
Starting over again Where do you begin Youve never been out on your own Starting over again Never any end
What will the neighbors say? They're talking talk, it's small town news Facing fifty years old Making up a happy home And this far down the road You find yourself alone Two fools
3rd chorus:
Starting over again Now where do you begin When you've never been out on your own Starting over again Never any end When your dreams are all shattered And the kids are all grown And all the kings horses And all the kings men Could never put mommy and daddy back together
I have some experience with a drinking H...or I should say formerly drinking... I too, enabled for years...covered...begged...pleaded with him not to endanger us or the kids...even saved him from an DUI once because I could pass the sobriety test and he couldn't (go figure because I drank more then him)... This is how I handled it...the next time he was drunk I called 9-1-1...the hospital talked to him...encouraged him to get help...had he been out with one of my kids I would have done the same thing...make them responsible for their actions...
So next time he is out drinking...turn him in!...
Yes my H was pissed to begin with...and I had to do it again...but now he is near 1 year of sobriety and thankful I cared enough not to put up with his alcohol abuse anymore...
Hang in there Amy...I know the ER doctor told me that if I had to make a tough decision that in time the kids would understand and respect me for it...he said at first they might be upset but in time they would see...
