Dom, have you read "The Five Love Languages" yet? I suspect it'd shed a good bit of light onto things for you. I'd also bet that if you looked back at your interactions in August and September you'd find you not only were coming across as positive and confident but were probably speaking her love languages in some regards.
You all but said it that you have communication challenges. I think right there is your biggest answer to your question with 180s. Figure out how you can better communicate your thoughts and feelings and better listen and understand others. It's not easy but it'd be well worth all the effort you put into it not only with your relationship with your wife but every relationship you have. Lots of excellent books out there on the subject too!
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
