I believe that eventually spiritual dues are paid. There's nothing else I can do for H now. He can only change and repent to save his own soul.
So, it's official... New Years Eve will be H's first overnighter with ow that I've "known" about. Nice... gotta love it.. Detach Detach.. Detach... I told him that this is where it becomes a big problem to live together while going through the D process and we need to start distancing ourselves more and more from each other... unweaving the web that holds us together...
Somewhere during this convo, H got sad and told me how much he still loves me and cares about me. For him, that's what makes this whole thing so hard - that he still has these feelings for me. I just said that because we are divorcing we cannot have a R, even a friendship, any longer; that would be unfair to everyone. How could he disagree?
I feel like I am finally starting to move on emotionally from this mess. My feelings for H are weakening as he continues to act only in his own best interest. I know I deserve better. I know that I deserve to be with someone who loves me 100%, not 50%. I tried. I tried really hard. But, it is over for me now.
